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You Asked For It: Advice column by Lisa Przystup

 by Lisa Przystup
 published on Thursday, August 24, 2006


"A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice." - Bill Cosby

I recently read a column by Tony Kornheiser, the well-known sports writer for The Washington Post. In it, Kornheiser discusses the pros and cons of debuting as a commentator on Monday Night Football.

"It makes it hard to do the job you're supposed to do as a writer... which I think is to crush these people," Kornheiser says. "This is a dilemma for me. I have the good angel sitting on one shoulder whispering, 'Be nice, Anthony. These are nice, hardworking people.' And I have the bad angel on my other shoulder whispering, 'Crush 'em like a bug, T.' "

This pretty much sums up my personal dilemma in developing my advice column for SPM. I have somehow always been the friend that ends up doling out advice over a couple late-night cocktails at the local neighborhood bar to some poor sap. He usually already knows what he needs to do, but he just won't do it.

These saps are usually my friends. They are confused, emotionally illiterate and blinded to common sense by their own painful addiction to drama. This is also why they are my friends.

The questions posed in most advice columns are also pretty painful. "My boyfriend cheats on me at least once a month, never apologizes for it, yells 'Fatty!' every time I take a bite of food, and spends all my money. But I still love him... what should I do?"

I'm not even going to touch that one.

But if for some crazy reason, I absolutely had to answer this inane question, it would probably go something like this: "Dear Fatty, Maybe if you weren't so busy taking bites of food you might have had the time to notice that you have seriously let yourself go and this monthly cheating thing is really all your fault. You love him. Great. But in all seriousness it really sounds like you are the one who is lucky that he loves you. Cherish him."


Well you see, I am a firm believer in delivering advice with compassion - and just a smidge of sarcasm. Call it tough love.

So if I haven't scared you too much already, please write me with your torturous conundrums, heartbreaks and ethical pickles. Be sure to include your year and major - we'll change your name, to protect the innocent involved.

And I'll be sure to try and keep my bad angel in check (no promises).

E-mail Lisa at: with your questions. Be sure to check next week's SPM to get your answers!

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