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ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT
Tara Reid still drunk
The Stale Mess
Perpetually drunk starlette Tara Reid celebrated her birthday at ASU where she stumbled up and down Palm Walk in a desperate cry for attention. According to onlookers, she was Students on Palm Walk were shocked to see Hollywood actress Tara Reid, intoxicated and stumbling back and forth across the sidewalk for more than an hour Monday afternoon.

Reid was allegedly in Scottsdale over the weekend in order to celebrate her 30th birthday, sources said. Although her birthday was Nov. 12, the notorious party girl continued to celebrate into this month.

'F Book' creators say idea was stolen
The Stale Mess
Jamie Jones, co-creator of failed publications the The "G Book," a little black book containing the addresses and numbers of close-to-campus hotspots, has been promoted tirelessly by creators Jeff Huting and Kenn Cotterman. With their "G Spot" promotions that include a car emblazoned with their logo, the two entrepreneurs have enjoyed enormous success in the past few months.

Almoodi protests Playboy reality show, no one cares
Hundreds of ASU students chose to bunny-hunt rather than attend class yesterday, thanks to Playboy magazine.

Crowds of up to 80 students were seen stumbling and shoving each other yesterday in the hopes of getting some time with one of the 12 Playboy models present on ASU's main campus.

In case you haven't figured this out, Stale Mess is just a bunch of made up stories. It's as fake as your "Kate Spade" purse that's "hecho en Mexico." As fake as the breasts on the Playboy playmates, our USG president wants to ban. It's possibly even faker. It's content is not to be taken seriously. Stale Mess is fake, fake, fake. Any resemblance to actual people (unless, of course, those actual people are public figures) is purely accidental. Enjoy. And remember: it's fake.

Card's mascot succumbs to bird flu
The Arizona Cardinals lost more than the game against the Jacksonville Jaguars Sunday.

Big Red, 28, the Cardinals mascot for seven years, collapsed in the stands during the fourth quarter of the 24-17 loss at Sun Devil Stadium.

The feathery mascot fell to the ground as he was signing autographs for children attending the game. Red was taken to a local hospital by helicopter where he later fell into a coma. After a week in the Intensive Care Unit, Red died on Dec. 6.

In case you haven't figured this out, Stale Mess is just a bunch of made up stories. It's as fake as your "Kate Spade" purse that's "hecho en Mexico." As fake as the breasts on the Playboy playmates, our USG president wants to ban. It's possibly even faker. It's content is not to be taken seriously. Stale Mess is fake, fake, fake. Any resemblance to actual people (unless, of course, those actual people are public figures) is purely accidental. Enjoy. And remember: it's fake.

New college named after Playboy great Hefner
ASU President Michael Crow has teamed up with Hugh Hefner to bring a new college to the Tempe campus and it is expected to push ASU to the forefront of modern education.

The Hugh Hefner College of International Pornatomy will not only attract a new demographic to downtown Tempe, but it is also another step toward becoming a New American University, Crow said.

In case you haven't figured this out, Stale Mess is just a bunch of made up stories. It's as fake as your "Kate Spade" purse that's "hecho en Mexico." As fake as the breasts on the Playboy playmates, our USG president wants to ban. It's possibly even faker. It's content is not to be taken seriously. Stale Mess is fake, fake, fake. Any resemblance to actual people (unless, of course, those actual people are public figures) is purely accidental. Enjoy. And remember: it's fake.

Crow flattens 'A' Mountain
In an effort to increase on-campus housing, ASU President Michael Crow approved his proposal to demolish "A" mountain to make room for a new residence hall.

"We ran out of spaces for the new hall since we turned most of our old parking lots into buildings already," Crow said. "Wouldn't you rather have a snazzy new residence hall instead of that dusty, old mountain?"

In case you haven't figured this out, Stale Mess is just a bunch of made up stories. It's as fake as your "Kate Spade" purse that's "hecho en Mexico." As fake as the breasts on the Playboy playmates, our USG president wants to ban. It's possibly even faker. It's content is not to be taken seriously. Stale Mess is fake, fake, fake. Any resemblance to actual people (unless, of course, those actual people are public figures) is purely accidental. Enjoy. And remember: it's fake.

Holiday Horrorscopes: Why you suck
Aries (March 21- April 19): You are a self-centered, greedy person who always wants to make sure you get your fair share of presents. By the time everyone has opened their first gift, you've completely torn through your presents, decided which ones are worth your time, and have left a mess for someone else.

In case you haven't figured this out, Stale Mess is just a bunch of made up stories. It's as fake as your "Kate Spade" purse that's "hecho en Mexico." As fake as the breasts on the Playboy playmates, our USG president wants to ban. It's possibly even faker. It's content is not to be taken seriously. Stale Mess is fake, fake, fake. Any resemblance to actual people (unless, of course, those actual people are public figures) is purely accidental. Enjoy. And remember: it's fake.

Entertainment Boxer-Briefs: 50 Cent auditions ASU talent for video
TEMPE - Rap artist 50 Cent announced Wednesday his plans to film his newest music video at Arizona State University. His newest song titled "Gullible" will feature only the most committed and attractive fans, said 50 Cent's representatives.

In order to audition for the video, participants are asked to meet at the Memorial Union this Saturday at 5 a.m. Students are asked to have a 50 Cent song in mind that they will be required to rap while wearing nothing but black socks.

Those who impress the judges will have the opportunity to appear as extras on the set of "Gullible," his representatives said.

In case you haven't figured this out, Stale Mess is just a bunch of made up stories. It's as fake as your "Kate Spade" purse that's "hecho en Mexico." As fake as the breasts on the Playboy playmates, our USG president wants to ban. It's possibly even faker. It's content is not to be taken seriously. Stale Mess is fake, fake, fake. Any resemblance to actual people (unless, of course, those actual people are public figures) is purely accidental. Enjoy. And remember: it's fake.

Top 5: Best places to sleep on campus
Tiffany Tcheng / STATE PRESS MAGAZINE
1. Hayden Library:
Put your feet up, get your books out, start reading ... and slowly drift away.

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