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New Web site flaunts sexy administrators


Amanda Lee Myers
Have you ever walked by this building and asked, “Have we met before?” or even, “Don’t I know you?” (PHOTO BY AMANDA LEE MYERS/STATE PRESS MAGAZINE)
In case you haven't figured this out, Stale Mess is just a bunch of made up stories. It's as fake as your "Kate Spade" purse that's "hecho en Mexico." As fake as the breasts on the Playboy playmates, our USG president wants to ban. It's possibly even faker. It's content is not to be taken seriously. Stale Mess is fake, fake, fake. Any resemblance to actual people (unless, of course, those actual people are public figures) is purely accidental. Enjoy. And remember: it's fake.


The creator of palmwalk.com has again struck Internet gold with a Web site targeting ASU administrators.

ASUFoundation.com features a mock-up of the ASU Foundation Building that opens to reveal a virtual runway cluttered with seductive and revealing photos of ASU officials.

Featured pictures include a shot of ASU President Michael Crow in his boxers smoking a Clove cigarette, Vice President of Student Affairs Sally Ramage in a two-piece bathing suit, and Executive Vice President and Provost Milton Glick lifting weights shirtless.

Crow arrested for public pee-pee

ASU President Michael Crow was taken into custody last night on charges of public urination, destruction of property and public intoxication.

He is being held without bail because public officials should be "above the kind of nonsense they try to eliminate," said Christophee Cochran, a communications intern for the city police department.

Bush appoints Judge Judy to Supreme Court

After the withdrawal of President Bush's second Supreme Court nomination, Samuel Alito, Bush pulled out all the stops with his newest nomination of TV star Judge Judy.

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    SPORTS

    Sleeping: USG president makes national sleep team


    The Stale Mess
    USG president Yasar Almoodi likes naps. He's making ASU proud as a part of the national competative sleep team. He's pictured here taking the nap that got him noticed. When a recent USG meeting got too boring, Almoodi nodded off, catching the eye of sleep team recruiters across the country.
    USG President Yasar Almoodi, continued to work hard at improving ASU's reputation Wednesday. But this time he wasn't battling Playboy bunnies or forgetting important bylaws. This time all he had to do was fall asleep.

    Almoodi's ability to fall  asleep any time, any place has landed him a coveted spot on the U.S. Olympic sleep team.

    Josh Keith, recruiter for the team, said it was Almoodi's stunning performance at a recent  USG meeting that landed him a spot on the team.

    "I've seen bored public officials nod off before," he said. "But the way Yaser fell asleep ... wow. Such grace. Such obvious disregard for anything but his rest. And he didn't even snore."

    SPORTS

    Yardball: Society's loss is the  Jailbirds' gain

    Tailback Loren Wade ran for two touchdowns and Mitchell "Fright Night" Freedman had a game-clinching interception as the Jailbirds downed their Florida State counterparts 31-28 in the annual Jail Bowl on Tuesday in Florence.
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    ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

    Tara Reid still drunk


    The Stale Mess
    Perpetually drunk starlette Tara Reid celebrated her birthday at ASU where she stumbled up and down Palm Walk in a desperate cry for attention. According to onlookers, she was "totally tanked."
    Students on Palm Walk were shocked to see Hollywood actress Tara Reid, intoxicated and stumbling back and forth across the sidewalk for more than an hour Monday afternoon.

    Reid was allegedly in Scottsdale over the weekend in order to celebrate her 30th birthday, sources said. Although her birthday was Nov. 12, the notorious party girl continued to celebrate into this month.
    ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

    'F Book' creators say idea was stolen

    The "G Book," a little black book containing the addresses and numbers of close-to-campus hotspots, has been promoted tirelessly by creators Jeff Huting and Kenn Cotterman. With their "G Spot" promotions that include a car emblazoned with their logo, the two entrepreneurs have enjoyed enormous success in the past few months.
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