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Top 5: Awkward Thanksgiving moments

 published on Thursday, November 17, 2005

The Pimp/issues/arts/694951
Deanna Dent / STATE PRESS MAGAZINE
The Pimp
 

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1. All the food sucks:

You've starved yourself for days, waiting to gorge on moist turkey, delicious yams and warm dinner rolls. So what happens when your grandmother accidentally overcooks the turkey, the yams are somehow ruined and the dinner rolls taste like cardboard?

2. The inevitable argument/crying session:

It could be your uncle's year to express his feelings about your grandfather's lack of parental ability, or it could be as simple as no one trying your aunt's peach cobbler. Trying to stay impartial at family dinners is like being a moderate in the Legislature -- only with more alcohol and less money involved.

3. Two words -- religion and politics:

If you want to turn conversations into debates and then full-scale arguments, simply mention the war. It doesn't even matter which one.

4. Introduce your new vegan significant other without dietary warning:

Some people still don't even know you can survive without eating several animals on a daily basis. Your relatives won't ever understand why that boy or girl with his lip ring wouldn't try your mother's ham.

5. You somehow manage to forget every one of your cousins' names:

You only see them once or twice a year anyway, right?

Reach the reporter at ben.horowitz@asu.edu.



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