Serving Arizona State University Online Since 1995  Current Issue: Thursday, October 06, 2005





Scene Points: Ex Favorites

 by Chelsea Ide  published on Thursday, October 6, 2005


I've been single for a few months, and thought I had shaken off any residual bitterness toward my most recent ex. Apparently not. It hit me in the SPM office mid-rant (on an awesome headline: "Guitar god finally plays some fucking Skynard" from last week's Boston's Weekly Dig) when "First Day of My Life" by Bright Eyes began blaring from my accomplice Megan Irwin's computer.

"I can't believe you're playing this," I say.

"I know, I hate Bright Eyes, too, but I really love this song," she says, preparing for an elitist lecture.

"No, it's not that. It's a good song, but it's an [ex-boyfriend] song."

She immediately switched the track, because she understood. I'm betting most of you do, too. Beyond having to pick up the three T-shirts you kept in his or her top drawer, there is another awkward moment: the realization favorite songs are now casualties of the break up.

"First Day of My Life" isn't my favorite song. It's really one of the two songs I like by Bright Eyes (before I get those angry e-mails, please understand I know he's good at what he does, it's just not my thing), but the song was the first track on the first mix CD my ex made for me. The whole disc was emo shit, but I didn't care. It was just so adorable to see my boyfriend smiling watching me listen to it and to hear him sing along to the sweet parts.

So, how did "First Day of My Life" become the song? Easily. He and I were driving (to where doesn't matter) and when this song came on, he took my hand and sang along with key parts of the song. Hearing "Yours is the first face that I saw, I think I was blind before I met you" from someone looking at you with adoration is enough to etch the song into your heart.

Now that we're broken up, the song is off limits. It's not fair, it's a really beautiful song, and now I can't enjoy it. Being an audiophile, it's hard to accept I can no longer listen to favorite tracks because of a boy.

The Bright Eyes track isn't the only off-limits tune. When watching "Empire Records" I always get a little uneasy during the song "Sugar High," because an ex and I sang some mad karaoke in my car to the song. Amazing road trip moment, but it's regaled to the break up bin.

How do we reclaim these songs? Will I ever be able to hear "Sheet Metal Girl" by Pig Destroyer without thinking of one of my best birthdays ever with an ex at New England Metal and Hardcore Festival?

I hope so. I've been thinking it over, and what I've come up with is after you deal with all the leftover feelings, you can enjoy the song again.

Granted, I'm pretty sure I'm always going to feel something for my ex, but if I can get to the point where running into him at a bar isn't incredibly awkward, maybe I can reclaim a few of our songs (I really want Tilly and the Wall's "You and I Misbehaving" back, but I'll settle for the damn Bright Eyes song).

Note: I removed the name of the ex talked about in this column, because despite breaking my heart he is a good person who doesn't deserve hate mail.

However, if you're a hot punk rock/hardcore boy who knows which band wrote "The Saddest Day" and why it's exquisite, you can reach me at

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