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Sexual Discourse: Is it too soon?

Students discuss how long they get to know a person before having sex

 by Erika Wurst  published on Thursday, April 21, 2005

Nursing sophomore Nicole Keller says if you really like someone, it is easier to wait to have sex.  /issues/arts/693005
Brandon Quester / STATE PRESS MAGAZINE
Nursing sophomore Nicole Keller says if you really like someone, it is easier to wait to have sex.
 
Interdisciplinary studies senior Aaron Lowe says waiting for sex can pay off later in a relationship.  He says the build-up of emotion leading to that point can enhance the experience. /issues/arts/693005
Brandon Quester / STATE PRESS MAGAZINE
Interdisciplinary studies senior Aaron Lowe says waiting for sex can pay off later in a relationship. He says the build-up of emotion leading to that point can enhance the experience.
 

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Sex is an important factor in many relationships. Whether you've decided to have it, or to wait it out, the conversation of "should we, or shouldn't we" is hard to avoid.

A recent Esquire Magazine survey found that American women wait an average of 5.5 dates before going to bed with a potential suitor. This number is a far cry from the days when the courting phase of a relationship would last for months.

This week, SPM hits the malls of campus to find out how long two ASU students wait and whether they think sex after five dates is moving too quickly.

Who: Interdisciplinary studies senior Aaron Lowe

Where: Outside Campus Corner

SPM: On average, how many dates do you wait before you have sex with someone?

Lowe: I'd say a week probably. You want to get to know them a little bit, find out certain things that maybe bother you.

SPM: Have you noticed an increase or a decline in the amount of time you wait as you get older?

Lowe: It's a hard question to answer. An increase in time now that I'm older? I think a lot of people get to college and go crazy, then find themselves and straighten out a bit, you know?

SPM: Do you think sleeping with someone right off the bat is becoming more or less socially acceptable? Why?

Lowe: More acceptable because in the media and in sitcoms and stuff, people are having sex with people when they first meet. It's not uncommon at all.

SPM: Do you feel that a good relationship can spring from first-date sex?

Lowe: Typically no, because then the first thing you get to know about somebody is sex with them. I don't think that's a good foundation.

SPM: Do you think more or less of a potential partner if they hop in the sack right away?

Lowe: I think typically less. There's a lot more to a relationship than sex, and if that's all you know at that point, there's not much to build on, I guess.

SPM: What do American women say the average amount of time they wait is before they'll sleep with a partner?

Lowe: Uh, three dates? I think if you say one date, people will portray you as being sluty, and some people don't want to have that reputation.

SPM: If you really like someone, is it easier or harder to wait to sleep with them?

Lowe: It's harder to wait, especially if they like you back. Does it pay off in the end? Yeah, it could pay off. There's a lot of built-up emotion that can be expressed the first time you do it.

SPM: What do you think are the repercussions or benefits of sleeping with someone right away?

Lowe: I can't think of any benefits except for a night of fun.

Who: Nursing sophomore Nicole Keller

Where: Hanging out at the MU fountain

SPM: On average, how many dates do you wait before having sex with someone?

Keller: It depends on the person, really. Sometimes it never happens. Sometimes it's a couple of dates.

SPM: Have you noticed an increase or a decline in amount of time you wait as you get older?

Keller: It's gone down, unfortunately. I don't know why.

SPM: Do you think sleeping with someone right off the bat is becoming more or less socially acceptable? Why?

Keller: I think it's becoming more socially acceptable. Just the way people talk about it, it's not as big of a deal for girls anymore.

SPM: Do you feel that a good relationship can spring from first-date sex?

Keller: Umm, yeah. I don't know if sex has a lot to do with it. You can have a total connection, sex or no sex.

SPM: Do you think more or less of a potential partner if they hop in the sack right away?

Keller: It kind of worries me because I won't know how often they do that kind of thing.

SPM: What do American women say the average amount of time they wait is before they'll sleep with a partner?

Keller: I'd say three to five dates. Somewhere in that area. By then, you've gotten to know that person and basically have an idea of who they are.

SPM: If you really like someone, is it easier or harder to wait to sleep with them?

Keller: It's easier to wait. I guess if that person likes you too, then you know it's not a rush, and they'll be there for you and not the sex.

SPM: What do you think are the repercussions or benefits of sleeping with someone right away?

Keller: Well, feelings can get hurt if one person expects a commitment. And there are physical repercussions like pregnancy. Benefits are that it's fun.

Reach the reporter at erika.wurst@asu.edu.



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