Sexual Discourse: Simple satisfaction

Students say Valentine's Day is about love, not spending money

 by Erika Wurst
 published on Thursday, February 10, 2005

Danielle Peterson
Danielle Peterson / STATE PRESS MAGAZINE
Political science senior Connor Banks says he does not feel obligated to have a honey on the holiday of love.
Danielle Peterson
Danielle Peterson / STATE PRESS MAGAZINE
Business sophomore Elizabeth Rich says on one Valentines Day, she received a poem. She adds that if her boyfriend does not get her anything this year, he is going to be in the dog house.

Forget the roses and candy.

ASU students say they just want some good company this Valentine's Day.

Whether you're single and ready to mingle or happily taken, Valentine's Day doesn't have to drain your wallet.

In this week's "Sexual Discourse," SPM discovers it's the little things that count on this day of love.

Who: Political science senior Connor Banks
Found: Sitting on a bench chatting with a friend

SPM: So Connor, what's the best Valentine's gift you've ever gotten?

Banks: Nothing. No one's gotten me a Valentine's Day gift besides my mother, and I don't even remember what it was.

SPM: It was that good, huh? Well, that knocks out our next question, which is, what's the crappiest gift you've gotten? We'll speak in hypothetical terms on this one.

Banks: Probably toiletries. If someone gave you soap or mouthwash or deodorant, they're saying, "Hey, take a shower. Brush your teeth." That would freak me out.

SPM: I agree. So any big plans this year to reverse your loveless streak?

Banks: What day is Valentine's Day?

SPM: Monday.

Banks: Absolutely nothing. I think it's a stupid holiday. It's made by manufacturers to sell more crap, and it's a total double-standard. Guys have to spend a shitload of money, otherwise the girl hates him. I think just your presence and saying, "I love you" is enough.

SPM: So, is it sad being single on a day when everyone seems to have somebody?

Banks: No. I don't even think about it. I play video games and workout. It's basically just another day for me.

SPM: But if you were dating a girl, what would you expect out of her on Monday?

Banks: I don't really expect anything. Her presence. Material stuff is stupid. If you love someone, you don't show it with roses. You hang out, go to dinner, watch a movie.

SPM: So, what's preventing you from asking a girl out this year?

Banks: I just don't think it's a real holiday. I'm not out of school, am I? I don't need a holiday to force me to ask somebody out. Besides, I think love is 365 days.


Who: business sophomore Elizabeth Rich
Found: Eating outside the Memorial Union

SPM: Tell me about the best Valentine's Day gift you've received.

Rich: I got a poem. It was just really sweet and thoughtful. It was from a boyfriend when we were, like, 15. It was stuffed in my locker. Kind of corny, but it was sweet at the time.

SPM: And on the opposite end of the spectrum, what's the worst gift you've received?

Rich: Not having a valentine. It's depressing. Everyone's all coupled up and I'm like, "Where's mine?"

SPM: So, are you coupled up this year? What are your Valentine's Day plans?

Rich: I have a valentine, but I don't know what the plans are. They better be something good, or he's outta there.

SPM: Say you didn't have plans, would you be sad?

Rich: It's always sad when you don't have someone. But usually there's a bunch of you that are boyfriend-less, and you can have girls' night out. Go have fun.

SPM: But if you do have a date, what is expected of him?

Rich: I don't expect a big deal out of it. Just a little something extra, like a flower or a card. It doesn't have to be big; he just has to express how much he likes me and why he's with me.

SPM: On Valentine's Days when you were alone, did you feel like a loser?

Rich: I think you feel like a loser, but I don't think others see you that way. There are tons of people out there that don't have one (a valentine). I don't feel like I absolutely have to have someone.

SPM: Do you view Valentine's Day as a holiday? How has it changed for you as you have gotten older?

Rich: Yeah, I think it's a holiday. I think Hallmark makes it a holiday. I remember when Valentine's Day used to be a group thing. Everyone got a valentine; you'd share the love. Now it's a lot more personal.

SPM: So, if you didn't have a date already, would you think it was OK, being a girl, to ask a guy out?

Rich: I think if a girl likes someone, she should pursue it. I think she should be cautious and read the signs. But it's OK for girls to ask guys out.

SPM: We couldn't have said it better. Have a great Valentine's Day, everyone.

Reach the reporter at erika.wurst@asu.edu.


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