Serving Arizona State University Online Since 1995  Current Issue: Thursday, December 04, 2003





Sun Devil football fans donate food, toys to charities
Before ASU annihilated UA on Friday, hundreds of fans donated food, toys and money to two local charities. Representatives of Every Kid Counts announced Wednesday that $1,000, two boxes of toys and one box of nonperishable food was donated outside Sun Devil Stadium on Friday.

Police Beat: Armed and dangerous... with screwdriver
The incidents reported by ASU and Tempe police, including a man arrested on charges of disorderly conduct after he reportedly chased the victim through the parking lot of a gas station while armed with a Phillips screwdriver. The victim reportedly evaded the man and was not stabbed.

Balancing act: ASU Foundation's finances
Students expecting scholarships this fall returned to find their colleges scrambling to find money to cover the promised aid. That promise usually is fulfilled by payouts from endowments managed by the ASU Foundation.

But this time, the economy had crippled the endowments that the organization manages. Many were "underwater," meaning that they had yielded no interest payouts. The foundation halted some promised payouts to colleges until a solution to its financial straits could be devised.

Hagan arrested for reportedly kicking car
Derek HaganASU sophomore wide receiver Derek Hagan was arrested Tuesday night on charges of criminal damage after he reportedly kicked and dented his ex-girlfriend's car.

Tempe police responded to a family argument call at Hagan's residence in the 1500 block of South Beck Drive around 9:20 p.m. Tuesday, according to police reports.

Expert: Graduates' job market still uncertain
More than 3,000 students will graduate this month from ASU, but economists said Wednesday that they could face uncertainty when looking for post-graduation employment.

The 40th annual Bank One Economic Forecast Luncheon, held at the Phoenix Civic Plaza and hosted by ASU's W. P. Carey School of Business, welcomed top Arizona politicians, University officials and economists.

Official to split time at main campus, Phoenix
The University is sending a top official to downtown Phoenix to help develop its satellite campus there. Associate Vice President of Development Nancy Jordan will work in Phoenix Mayor-elect Phil Gordon's office to increase the campus population and improve its surroundings.

Makin' some Noyz: 'Greek Review' goes online
Whether or not you're in a fraternity or sorority, you've probably seen the old newspaper that used to circulate frat row. Filled with pictures of hot chicks, chapter reports and advertisements, it generated curiosity about Greek life and probably got you flipping the pages once or twice.

Dubya & Me: Michael Moore takes a shot at the prez
"In a world where fears of terrorism paralyze America and Republicans swarm like vultures, only one man can save America from swirling down the toilet. Michael Moore is armed only with his own body odor and has a plan to change the world - one Republican-in-Name-Only at a time."

Breaking and entering: Darnell Calhoun on Fox Sports
Darnell Calhoun knew that breaking into the field of sports broadcasting would be rough. But he didn't imagine it would mean squaring up against a Sun Devil heavyweight.

That's only a sampling of the job responsibilities for Calhoun, the campus correspondent for the Fox Sports program Sun Devil Insider. Calhoun won the position over more than 40 other applicants, and for the last two months has covered a wide variety of ASU athletics for the brand-new show.

Dope Dude: Howard Stern's "Jokeman"
Jackie Martling is a 55-year-old man with a teenager's sense of humor. But that's why Martling is known as "The Joke Man" on Howard Stern's famed radio talk show.

Martling is featured in High Times Magazine's first film, Potluck, which is opening tomorrow in select theaters around the Valley. He plays a bar owner who is trying to score with one of his waitresses who also moonlights as the lead singer of an all-girl rock band.

Murphy's Law: A new begınnıng
So here's the thing: This is my last column. It's sad, I know, but it's the truth. I've decided to be cheesy for this last column and say my last goodbyes, since I'm graduating in a few days and won't be back in January. It's sort of weird to write that I'm not coming back.

Don't I Know You?: Passing the torch: Joy Hepp
Every week this past semester, the lovely, talented and witty Joy Hepp has investigated the most interesting people and trends on campus. She has scoured the palm-tree-lined sidewalks of ASU with her photographer in tow; in search of those terribly interesting characters we get the pleasure of learning about each week.

Frodoitis takes its toll on America
There is a very serious problem affecting a large percentage of this population. Many of us don't recognize it for what it really is. It is a condition that forces its victims to spend a large amount of time in a darkened room, sitting in soft seats with others like themselves, escaping reality. They discuss make-believe events for hours and even get in arguments over them. I call it "extreme Frodoidis." Those afflicted need help.

Foggy Recollection: 'The House of Sand and Fog' review
The plot seems simple enough - almost too simple: two people fighting over the ownership of one house, each trying to find a place to call home.

Turns out that nothing about The House of Sand and Fog is simple. In fact, the way the author of the book and the director of the film met and the way the plot and the film were conceived could be the subject of their own story. However, due to lack of time and space, a well-written synopsis of the fairy tale story will have to do.

CD Roundup: 2003 under the radar
Compared to 2002, this year has been a great year for music fans. Plenty of great mainstream bands like Radiohead and The Strokes put out fantastic new albums. Although the year had its sad moments - like the passing away of Johnny Cash and Elliott Smith, as well as the breakup of long-time indie rockers The Dismemberment Plan - 2003 was still packed with great releases.

A comprehensive list of all the best releases of 2003 would be near impossible, but here are a group of albums that may have flown just under the radar but should definitely be checked out, as they are some of the best that the year had to offer.

'Average Joe' pads latest episode with fat suit gimmick
Between the accusations of pretension, reenactments, the clash of the self-appointed 'drinkers and thinkers' and a lovely replication of Shallow Hal-ness, we have "Average Joe." Still, the obvious bachelor of choice is Adam, the affluent Wall Street Trader.

Metalhead rocks the 80s with long hair, leopard print
Sure, they're men with really long hair and tight pants. And yes, they wear leather and leopard prints. But they make their music look good, and sound good too. The band can fill up a bar with an excited crowd on any Sunday night.

Concert Review: Arizona's own ska band hits Modified Arts
Here in Arizona, ska and reggae bands thrive as a small cornerstone of underground music. Enter Warsaw Poland Bros. Together since the early 1990's, these hopelessly talented bar musicians have consumed audiences with amorous lyrics, memorizing horn licks and insatiable drum beats.

The trials and tribulations of repelling girls
If their band name is any indication, the members of Girl Repellent should be the type of guys a girl would not want to be within 20 miles of. Nothing could be further from the truth. Girl Repellent has been using its own brand of charm for more than six years on the Phoenix local band scene.

Jak and Daxter return in 'Jak II'
Jak is back and this time he's pissed off, as both Jak and Daxter make their return in Naughty Dog's Jak II. Like Aeon Flux and the main character in Grand Theft Auto III, Jak didn't really have much to say in the first game. In Jak II though, he has diarrhea of the mouth.

'Quidditch World Cup:' Beautiful but boring game
Harry Potter and his Hogwart's pals come to life PlayStation-style in EA Games' Quidditch World Cup, but the game lacks the magic and adventure of the Potter books and movies. Rich with vibrant graphics and easy-to-follow tutorials, the game is visually brilliant and easy to master.

Kick some Commie butt with 'Freedom Fighters'
What would you do if Russia had invented the hydrogen bomb, dropped it on Berlin to end World War II, spread Communism throughout the world and ultimately invaded New York City? If your answer is "pick up a gun and kill some Commies," you need to play Freedom Fighters, the latest multiplatform action monster from EA Games.

Letters to the Editor: Campus blacklists push politics
The letters in response to recent columns, including a letter from a reader saying that the University of Texas' blacklist has a counterpart at ASU. "Well, [expletive] the country," the reader wrote, saying that she values the "TRUTH" and that instructors should be praised for bravery.

Americans deserve anything but Spears, Kutcher
Instead of seeking answers and asking the right questions, a grassroots movement called the "Anyone But Bush Association," or ABBA, has been gaining momentum and pushing the election of no one in particular. These Bush-haters are looking for one result without looking at consequences.

Bush's plan can't see the forest for the logs
Newsflash, President Bush: Fires are both natural and healthy. When allowed to burn naturally at regular intervals, fires clear the scrubby underbrush and leave the large, healthy trees standing. Many plants require fire to release their seeds and prompt germination.

Sharon lampoon reveals European anti-Semitism
Recently, a British political cartoon depicted an oversized, naked (save for a loin-cloth that reads "Vote Likud!") Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon eating a baby. The piece was awarded "Political Cartoon of the Year" from the British Political Cartoon Society. No, you didn't read that wrong.

Editorial: Plus/minus not adding up
For those of us completing our seventh, eighth or ninth semesters at ASU, it can be a nice diversion from reality to remember how the University was before this whole sordid plus/minus grading affair got started.

A comic strip by Tony Carrillo.

A coimc strip by Joseph Bowen.

Talking Heads
A comic strip by Alexander Karlsson.

Politicians need not apply
Though universities are traditionally hotbeds of activism, usually of the liberal sort, the collective personality of ASU seems averse to politics. Based on a random sample of 256 faculty members, approximately 80 percent are registered to vote (of those, approximately 51 percent are Democrats, 23 percent are Republican, 23 percent are independent or didn't choose a party, 1 percent are Greens and another 1 percent are Libertarians), and about 80 percent of those who registered actually did vote in at least two of the last three general elections.

On the Web: Leftovers
Thanksgiving is a great holiday ... for me to ... umm ...

Rather than review Triumph's somewhat tasteless production, I decided to rant about the whole Thanksgiving brew-ha-ha that everyone has to go through.

Football: The year that couldn't deliver
The 2003 campaign was a trying one to say the least for the ASU football team. So how does a team that is picked to finish second in the Pac-10 end up finishing second to last? The problems started early with personnel decisions and scheduling problems at Camp Tontozona.

Despite youth, ASU wrestler confident on mat
When Iowa's Joe Johnson stepped onto the mat at Wells Fargo Arena to wrestle the Sun Devils' new 157-pounder on Sunday, the muffled sound of the public address announcer blared out, "Brian Sthhhth." Brian Stith is a name that college wrestling aficionados soon will become accustomed to.

Devil Dish: Players' arrests symptom of deep issues
It's kind of ironic that while ASU had only five wins this season on the football field, it also had five players who were arrested. In a season during which the word "disappointing" would be sugarcoating the issue, the real problems with the program can be seen in the Police Beat.

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