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NEWS
University offers early retirement to eligible faculty
A crashing stock market. A lack of raises. A check the size of a year's income. These are all reasons why approximately 150 ASU faculty members may soon be leaving the university and taking an early retirement.

Former NFL player fined for illegal parking
John Rade might think twice before he illegally parks at ASU. The former NFL linebacker for the Atlanta Falcons was nearly towed when he illegally parked in a space reserved for basketball coach Rob Evans.

Police Beat: Getting stiffed at Denny's
A 36-year-old Tempe man was arrested at the 1400 block of West Broadway Road on the charge of theft of means of services. The man reportedly entered Denny's with two of his friends and ordered $40.36 worth of food and drink. His friends then left him without paying. The man only had 25 cents and could not pay.



And more...

ASU defensive lineman arrested
Rickey ParkerAfter multiple violations of team policy, defensive lineman Rickey Parker has been kicked off the football team following his most recent incident that, as of Monday, still had him behind bars.

Crow allowed to make grade scale changes
President Michael Crow's addition of an A-plus (4.33) to the Academic Senate's grading proposal was "within his power as chief executive," said Nancy Tribbensee, an ASU deputy general counsel.



Crow approved last month a plus/minus grading system suggested by the Senate, but modified the proposal, adding an A-plus option.

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT
Autumn in Denver a cool relief
With Labor Day weekend and Thanksgiving bringing longer breaks from school and work, students can try abandoning (just this once!) the heat, palm trees and Coronas for some cool fall foliage and Coors.

'Gigli' is worst film of 2003
The buck stops with Gigli, the heavily hyped mobster romantic comedy starring this year's It Couple, Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez. Gigli is disgusting, unfunny, unromantic and rude.

Kevin Costner makes his comeback with 'Open Range'
There's got to be some kind of turn around coming up, right? Well, Open Range may not be up to the same epic scale as Dances With Wolves or capture the sexual essence of Bull Durham, but it's definitely a step in the right direction.

'Lara Croft Tomb Raider' sequel rocks the cradle
Lara Croft (Angelina Jolie) is back as the fearless archaeological adventuress who examines remnants of ancient civilizations. But this time, she has a little more determination, passion, and purpose.

'S.W.A.T.' a poor excuse for a TV show remake
Kaboom. Grunt. Bang. Manly comment. Boom. Pow. Grunt. Splat. That's S.W.A.T., based on the forgettable 1970s television show of the same name, in a nutshell, but onomatopoeia does not a review make.

'American Wedding' serves another slice of the same pie
Jim (Jason Biggs) still can't shake his clumsiness and bad timing as he proposes to his band camp love, Michelle (Alyson Hannigan) in an outrageous fiasco even more humiliating than his past pie incident.

'Last Comic' finale marks end of reality TV's dog days
This week, "Last Comic Standing" will reveal the last-standing funnyperson in a two-hour finale. And few will watch, even though the show was probably one of the better programs this summer.

'101 Things Removed from the Human Body' is typical FOX
Renegade squirrels, chomping alligators and bears with a taste for human flesh have been FOX's staple roadkill until now. The latest special focuses on the most outrageous items removed from humans.

Review: 'F1 Career Challenge'
In water cooler talk on Mondays, Formula One racing isn't the center of conversation. However, if it is possible for one video game to make such a change, F1 Career Challenge might be the one. While I'm not an aficionado of the sport, the game is remarkable piece of work in itself, even if you don't know your McLaren Mercedes from your Renault.

Review: Game Boy Player
The problem with GBA was that the screen was way too dark to even see some of the better games like the Castlevania series or Metroid Fusion. GBA SP helped some, but these games need to be played on the big screen. I'm talking on the television. Enter the Game Boy Player.

OPINIONS
From Our President: Crow defends decision, plus/minus
As president of the university, it is my job to make and implement decisions in the best interest of the entire university. In the case of the plus/minus grading system, my final decision followed several discussions and careful review of recommendations from the Academic Senate, ASASU, and the Office of the Provost.

Bush's indecisiveness on gay issues won't gain him votes
At a Rose Garden press conference last week, President Bush may have pushed the hot button topic of gay marriage considerably closer to being a divisive campaign issue in 2004. What is unclear at this early stage is whether or not the president's wobbling stance on gay rights is a classic example of Dubbya's "strategery" or a tactical error.

Downtown expansion may make up for Mill Ave. failures
Coming soon to a Downtown Tempe near you: total awesomeness and the ultimate rad! That's right, folks, Tempe is at it again, making Downtown a better place for all us Tempeans. Or is it Tempinos? Tempeople?

Editorial: Religious displays aren't signs of a church state
The reason for supporting the separation of church and state, and the initial implementation of this law are completely understandable. With a history of welcoming those who are persecuted from practicing their religions in their own countries, the last thing the United States would do would be to not support the practice of any religion, or lack there of. So this country refuses to force any certain religion on any one of its residents.

SPECIAL REPORTS
Hookah Heaven
It has been nearly a year since citizens of Tempe voted on an ordinance to ban smoking in bars and restaurants. But since then, the locals have adapted. Instead of lighting up cigarettes in clubs, many are now stoking up their hookahs at three local Tempe smoking venues.

WEB EXTRA
On the Web: Back to school shopping
Back to school time is upon once again. A few important things need to be done: finalize registration; find a job and back-to-school shopping.

Hipsters search for handbook, find humor instead
Not having read Robert Lanham's The Hipster Handbook, I don't know the deepest intricacies of the hipster subculture. Still, the book has a nifty promotion website at www.thehipsterhandbook.com.

'Web Devil' features new design
We dumped our cookie-cutter look to go with something with a little more functionality and style that is not seen on most college newspaper Web sites hosted by CollegePublisher.

SPORTS
Football team earns preseason praise
The polls are in. Is the ASU football team surprised? Yes. Are the coaches and players happy? Yes. Are they satisfied? Absolutely not.



After the Sun Devils were the sleeper team of the Pac-10 last season with an 8-6 record, expectations were high as to where the team would finish this season with 16 returning starters on the roster. Those expectations reached a crescendo last Wednesday during the Pac-10 media day in Los Angeles when the conference's preseason rankings projected ASU to finish in second place behind only USC.

Koetter quickly making a name for himself
Last season, ASU head football coach Dirk Koetter was still a new face in the Pac-10 and was considered a coach with little experience trying to rebuild the football program at ASU.



Only one year later, Koetter is now one of the more renowned coaches in the league and is leading a team ranked No. 23 nationally and picked to finish second in the conference.

Pac-10 Football Roundup
A busy Pac-10 media day last Wednesday featured the introduction of four new coaches and lots of talk of quarterback controversy, Heisman hopefuls and exceeding expectations. Below is a brief media day roundup of the nine other football teams in the conference.

Sports Roundup: Diogu playing well in limited time for Team USA
ASU forward Ike Diogu is proving to be nearly as unstoppable on the world level as he is at the collegiate level.



The soon-to-be sophomore has averaged over 10 points in just 11 minutes of playing time per game for USA Basketball as the team has gone 1-1 in games against Argentina and Puerto Rico at the Pan American Games in the Dominican Republic.

Devil Dish: Shopping with Iron Mike
I don't get how somebody, as ESPN.com put it, can squander $300 million away. I guess the former champ went to the M.C. Hammer School of Financial Security. All you need to get in is a fat wallet and a ton of friends with their hands out.

Sun Devils lose first basketball recruit
Rob Evans got the back to school present he didn't want Wednesday when he lost his first basketball recruit.

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