Serving Arizona State University Online Since 1995  Current Issue: Thursday, May 01, 2003





Editorial: Avoid camping for decals with phone or legs
It's a harsh and somewhat humorous reality when May rolls around each year, and the sidewalk outside the Towers fills with people who are either clueless or phoneless. Bear with us. Most of us are equipped with legs.

Letters to the Editor: Plan's minuses outnumber plusses
The letters in response to recent news and columns, including a reader's letter saying that adding an A-plus provision to the Academic Senate's plus/minus proposal would hurt more students than it would help.

Ode to our fallen downloads
A long, long time ago/ I can still remember/ How that Napster used to make me smile/ And I know if I had my chance/ I'd download "The Humpty Dance"/ And maybe bootleg Eminem freestyle.

No excuse for homophobia, racism to remain in this age
Apparently, there are still people out there willing to tell the world about how they hate homosexuals. This came as a bit of a surprise to me. I thought that we had pretty much gotten rid of those people.

Donate your organs, since you won't be needing them
You're either going to burn in hell or relax in heaven. Where in any of these situations do you see a need for lungs or a pancreas? The other day I had the chance to donate my organs, and I'm proud to say I did.

Mall Rants: Cheating
ASU students rant about the new cheating policy.

Popular professor gives last lecture, takes home award
"Boys are pilots. Girls are stewardesses," said ASU history professor Chris Smith to a large crowd of responsive chuckles in the very last lecture he would ever give. At least his last one in theory.

Video Game Review: 'MVP Baseball 2003' hits a home run
EA Sports effectively skipped its spot in the rotation of baseball video games in 2002 by churning out a mediocre edition of its long-running Triple Play series. But while 3DO's High Heat Baseball and Acclaim's All Star Baseball series were pinch-hitting for EA's spot in the order, MVP Baseball 2003 - graphically, the best baseball game to date - was lurking in the on-deck circle.

Clichés aside, the newly-released MVP is a sharp, engaging and awe-inspiring creation surely to make the wish list of any sports video game junkie, and EA once again the king of the genre.

Jenna and Heidi's incessant whining detracts from 'Survivor'
The incessant complaining of Jenna and Heidi is really ticking me off. Don't they know that this game is about betraying people? The first winner of this show, Richard Hatch, was a complete jerk to the others.

Internet café opens near Mill
Black-lit murals and contemporary art collide with coffee and computer monitors inside one of Tempe's newest entertainment destinations.

At ejoy café, gamers can use the computers' Local Area Network (LAN) and T-1 high-speed Internet connections to connect with other players around the country.

'Simpsons' visit dude ranch in forgettable episode
Sunday's episode was funny, especially when the audience sees Maggie dance to Britney Spears' song "Oops, I Did It Again." Also notable was the guest appearance by Byrne, who lampooned himself rather nicely.

Book Review: 'Everybody Loves Ramen' pricey, helpful
For those looking for that perfect high school graduation or college gift, the book Everybody Loves Ramen by Eric Hines is perfect.

It features easy-to-follow recipes centering on Top Ramen noodles. However, some sound absolutely disgusting, like Chili Fish Ramen...ick.

CD Review: Systematic's "Pleasure to Burn" a copycat
While tribute bands are a way of life in the elevator music world, when a band devotes their entire album to cheap rip-offs, it is never good. That is what Systematic has done with, "Pleasure to Burnstolen," their new CD featuring stolen Metallica riffs and poorly written lyrics.

Pagans endure stereotypes, try to educate ignorant
Members of the Pagans and Associates Network are accustomed to getting strange looks when they meet every other week at Borders Bookstore in Tempe. And why wouldn't they?

One of them has green hair, most wear all black and their typical conversations center around spells, Wicca, and Beltaine.

Bare breasts get old but 'The Real Cancun' stays fresh
I can honestly say that I enjoyed this rowdy romp called "The Real Cancun." Although I likely lost a few points off my intelligence quotient (read: IQ) without the use of any sort of controlled substance during the film, I doubt that I have enjoyed a film this much, or laughed so hard, in a long time.

M Golf: Duo finish in top 5, ASU nabs third at Pac-10's
After a pair of poor third round scores, ASU's Brady Stockton and Alejandro Canizares each shot a final round 3-under-par 69 to carry the Sun Devils to a third-place finish at the Pac-10 championships.

Devil Dish: Onyenegeche got undeserved respect from ASU
Coach Dirk Koetter had every right to rip Chijioke Onyenegeche in the media for dodging ASU in favor of Oklahoma. But the coaching staff held up and let the NCAA sort things out. Which was the right thing to do.

Softball: Brun shatters records, leads young Devils
She has been a conistent performer and consummate leader, but the career of one of ASU's most decorated athletes will come to a close. The presence of senior shortstop Kara Brun will be felt for a while to come.

Baseball: Grand slam powers Sun Devils past Sooners
The No. 4 Sun Devil baseball team defeated Oklahoma 9-4, due in large part to a bases-loaded homer. Rod Allen hit his second pinch-hit grand slam of the season, and ASU tied the NCAA season grand slam record.

Police Beat: Masked man attempts to rob jewelry store
The incidents reported by ASU and Tempe police, including a man reportedly wearing a black mask and armed with a sledgehammer who attempted to rob Ganem Jewelry Store. An employee fired a shot at him.

Newly elected ASASU executives sworn in
Eight ASU student government executive officers were sworn in Wednesday night at the Old Main Carson Ballroom. Brandon Goad said he was looking forward to the summer to start planning for next year.

Tempe, ASU to collaborate on extending downtown
Construction for a new ASU Foundation building will soon begin where Lot 51 currently stands. ASU Foundation will use only half the space and lease the rest of it back to the University, according to the foundation's Web site.

Ralph Backhaus: Professor X
Ralph Backhaus was arrested and accused of using his position at ASU to purchase the ingredients to manufacture more than $1 million worth of MDMA, better known as the psychoactive rave drug Ecstasy.

After nearly two years of investigation, Backhaus, who is no longer at the University, will be sentenced today.

Camping out for parking decals
The thought of hauling from Lot 59 to class every day motivated more than 20 students to camp out in front of ASU's Parking and Transit Services office for more than 24 hours before fall decals went on sale this morning.

Family mourns death of student
Family mourns death of studentFriends and family are mourning the death of Jessica Rachel Wilder, an ASU justice studies senior.

According to police reports, Wilder, 21, of Gilbert, apparently committed suicide. Her body reportedly was found in her car in the parking lot of the Willow House Coffee Café in Phoenix at 11:45 a.m. on April 20.

Lecturer speaks about evils of affirmative action
Ward Connerly claimed at a lecture on campus that affirmative action is a form of racism and is immoral. A Supreme Court review of two cases at the University of Michigan recently attracted attention to the issue.

Comics: W.M.U.
A comic strip by Joseph Bowen.

Comics: F-Minus
A comic strip by Tony Carrillo.

On the road, again
At a steakhouse in Van Horn, Texas, Patti Meister pauses to consider her past. Carefully and silently, she begins counting the nuptials, ticking them off on her fingers, one by one, as if she were a child practicing her addition. This is no easy task for a 58-year-old woman with an extraordinarily colorful past.

The moment resembles something out of a dark comedy, with the restaurant's Southwestern motif of pink and green pastels accentuating the punch line. Yet underneath the bizarre hilarity lies a feeling of desperation.

Tools of the trade
Ladies, it is a sad, sad day for gender equality. It looks like the fellas may finally have us beat [off] at something. When is the last time you manipulated your genitalia into the Lock Ness Monster, a windsurfer, or a hamburger? A taco, maybe, or a bearded clam, but how entertaining is that? Puppetry of the Penis is putting us all to shame.

Simon Morley, who is large in the margin and his comedy sensation, Puppetry of the Penis, is possibly the last great frontier in the fascinating world of male genitalia.

Cup o' Joe: Telling the human experience
Many may disagree, but it is my strong belief that stories of real people make for the strongest works of journalism.

What are real people as opposed to unreal people?

They are among us; they are not isolated or sheltered by public relations executives and gatekeepers. Real people live lives devoid of Hollywood endings and trivial concerns over botox appointments, nor do they choose activism as simply a hobby.

X-tremely lame: 'X2' review
It's a little amazing how many comic book-based movies Hollywood keeps churning out, considering how many of them suck.

But everybody knows that quality doesn't get movies made in Tinseltown - box office trends do. As long as audiences keep shelling out for these pictures, studios will continue to make them. Even if they are as lame as X2, the sequel to the 2000 hit, The X-Men.

Musical cure
Most of us don't need a reason to drink good beer and listen to great music, but Rich Crescenti is giving us the chance to do both for a good cause.

Crescenti, a supporter of local music and breast cancer research is putting on Music For A Cure, May 10 at Bandersnatch Brew Pub in Tempe, which includes a silent auction, donations, prizes, more than 15 local bands and of course, beer.

Professional grade
Steve Thomas can tell you anything you want to know about the recording industry. For eight years, he has owned, operated, and expanded the music venue inside Undici Undici, a club/coffee shop in Mesa that books national and local acts, but is renowned for its open mike night.

In conjunction with his own video production company, Outside the Box, Thomas also provides a video recording service for Undici Undici's amateur and professional patrons.

CD Review: Darryl Worley's 'Have You Forgotten?'
After listening to Darryl Worley's country album Have You Forgotten?, two things immediately popped into my mind. Either this album was funded by the Bush administration making it a product of their pro-war propaganda campaign, or Darryl Worley is just another money-hungry capitalist whore exploiting a terrible scenario [in this case war] to make a buck.

CD Review: Thicke's 'A Beautiful World'
With an unsettling Yanni-meets-AJ-Mclean-from-the-Backstreet-Boys look and wannabe hits like "Make a Baby" and "The Stupid Things," this guy is going nowhere and fast. It puzzles me to think who would have signed him in the first place. More than likely it was someone under the influence of a mentally debilitating stimulant.

Girls on film
Liana Mcwhorter is a daughter, a girlfriend, an artist, a student, and ultimately a human being. However, Mcwhorter regrettably says there is one significant facet of her identity that sometimes overrides all others - Mcwhorter is a lesbian.

By creating black and white photographs based on female sexuality, like women locked in holy matrimony Mcwhorter says in her current art she attempts to share slices of her lifestyle with the an audience that in many cases, is still scared of diversity. "I'm pulling things out of myself instead of the world around me," she says. Mcwhorter's socially charged photography will be displayed at Starbucks, which has raised a few eyebrows and conflict for Mcwhorter, until mid-May.

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