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OPINIONS
Wanton appetites rejoice a sleeker, sexier Carl's Jr.
With 80 new Carl's Jr. stores in waiting, attractive young wantons at ASU can hope that the benevolent Carl might pop up and save campus from the dry, unoriginal burgers of Whataburger, Wendy's and Burger King.

A new war of fighting words, images of falling statues
Nobody would dispute the power of the images the media sent to us when a statue of Saddam Hussein was toppled in the center of Baghdad. But saying the American military has won over Iraq could be deceiving.

Americans must teach Iraqis to disrespect Saddam creatively
Since Iraq has been held under a dictator's thumb for a very long time, the people don't know how to show some disrespect for authority. I think it is our duty to show them how to truly disrespect symbolic works of art.

Letters to the Editor: Jordan, CNN had to protect lives
The letters in response to recent columns, including a letter from a reader saying that Eason Jordan and CNN were correct to keep Iraqi information secret because the native Iraqi staff would be endangered.

Editorial: Taking lessons on DUI from Delta Sigma Phi
Delta Sigma Phi's mock trial was planned to educate students and help them make decisions about drinking and driving. It would be nice if the city of Tempe had as much initiative as Greek life regarding this issue.

Mall Rants: Gap closing
ASU students rant about what should replace the Gap.

WEB EXTRA
Reality TV Roundup: Just stop with the pro-American songs
This week, keeping with the theme of Billy Joel, the final seven singers crooned Joel's "For The Longest Time." Good or bad, the best part was that Carmen Rasmusen didn't know what the words were.

'Simpsons' repeats plots but keeps the laughs coming
With any show that has lasted as long as The Simpsons, there are bound to be plot retreads. In this case, it's Homer's interaction with the gay community.

Video Game Review: 'Def Jam Vendetta'
In a wrestling game market mainly dominated by the WWE (or F, if you're old school), Electronic Arts released Def Jam Vendetta under its EA Sports Big label earlier this month. This game brings together some of the biggest names in rap to basically kick the living crap out of you.

CD Review: Psychedelic Breakfast's 'Bona Fide'
With apologies to the Phish and String Cheese Incident fans out there, I found Psychedelic Breakfast's Bona Fide an interesting mix of talents, despite the fact it was l-o-n-g with a side of boring.

CD Review: Nexxis' 'The Connecting Link'
Not to sound clever, but I think that I have deciphered the title of Phoenix-based rapper Nexxis' new CD. He is the "connecting link" between Nelly and Outkast!

'Laramie Project' reveals humanity's problem: hate
"The Laramie Project" is a look at the life of residents of a sparsely populated town of Laramie, Wyoming in the aftermath of 21-year-old Matthew Shepard's murder on October 6, 1998.



Shepard was found bound to a fence in the secluded hills and private property outside Laramie in the early morning of October 7. Two men about his same age brutally beat him and then left him to die in an act of hate that spurred the nation's anger.

SPORTS
ASU, UCLA brother baseball players face off tonight
Tonight's baseball game against UCLA will be Erik Averill's 11th start of the season, but in this game Averill will be facing off against his older brother Brandon Averill, the third baseman for the Bruins.

W Tennis: Knee injury can't keep Krstulovic down
Dora Krstulovic is old beyond her years in tennis experience. Now an ASU junior, Krstulovic is playing what will most likely be her last season. She will be having a meniscus transplant, her fourth knee surgery.

M Tennis: ASU axes 'Jacks
The NAU men's tennis team couldn't hack its way out of a 7-0 ASU stomping Wednesday at the Whiteman Tennis Center. The Devils started strong in doubles with a win in every match, and continued in singles.

Devil Dish: Williams left Kansas for UNC fairly
Roy Williams has left his post as head basketball coach at Kansas to become the new head coach at North Carolina. Some are calling Williams' change disloyal and immoral. That's not the case at all.

Sports Briefs: Men's b-ball signing period begins
The men's basketball spring signing period began on Wednesday, and ASU is expected to receive a letter of intent from junior college shooting guard Steve Moore from Eastern Oklahoma State College.

Without a body, Iraqis worry that Saddam may return
In the Mansour neighborhood of Baghdad, not far from the crater that until last week was the Al Saah restaurant, Mustafa, a 39-year-old watch merchant, is certain of one thing: "I don't think he's dead."



He, of course, is Saddam Hussein, who remains a spectral force in this capital one week after U.S. forces arrived and eight days after four 2,000-pound, precision-guided bombs obliterated a quarter block of this city in a U.S. effort to kill him.

Raid on Baath leader's home illustrates new phase of war
Just after dawn, the soldiers crawled silently over the wall surrounding the Iraqi home, knocked lightly on the front door and then shot through the locks and entered the marbled foyer with weapons drawn.



In a mission called Operation White House because of the appearance of the home they were entering, troops of the 101st Airborne Division on Wednesday stormed the residence of Samir Abd Al-Aziz Al-Najim, the central Baath Party chairman for Baghdad.

Young Iraqi amputee a symbol of war's effect on children
There have been many tears shed in recent days at the Limbless Association in southwest London, but the latest ones are tears of happiness.



The charity, which has long assisted amputees in reclaiming their lives, is one of the groups that are working feverishly to help Ali Ismaeel Abbas, a 12-year-old Iraqi who lost both arms and was badly burned in a Baghdad missile attack that killed his pregnant mother, his stepfather, his younger brother and several other family members.

Troops find massive weapons caches in Tikrit cemetery
American troops have uncovered massive weapons caches in Saddam Hussein's tribal hometown of Tikrit in recent days, a discovery that bolsters the theory that the deposed president may have planned his last stand there.



U.S. troops patrolling through the town cemetery on Tuesday stumbled across a huge system of bunkers and trenches among the graves that held ammunition, rocket-propelled grenades and SAM 6 and SAM 7 surface-to-air missiles.

Chemical-detecting Kuwaiti pigeon to be taken home
When the annals of the Iraq war are written, Petey may be only a footnote, if that. But let it be known that Petey would have died for his Marines, if it had come to that. Fortunately, it didn't.



And soon Petey will be headed home.

CAMPUS NEWS
Police Beat: Man deposits bogus checks, takes $15,000
The incidents reported by ASU and Tempe police, including a 23-year-old man arrested on the charge of forgery. The man allegedly deposited counterfeit checks into an account and attempted to withdraw $14,925.

Lester named professor of year
Last week, the ASU Parents Association named Neal Lester of the English department "Professor of the Year" at the "Celebration of Teaching and Learning Excellence."



The award comes with a $10,000 cash stipend and an additional $10,000 to pay the salaries of teaching assistants he may hire in the future. Duane Roen said Lester is immersed in his work as an African-American studies professor.




Mock trial opens eyes to DUI laws
Some ASU Greek life students had a sobering experience Tuesday night when they participated in a mock DUI trial. After watching a video about binge drinking, they were then invited to sit on one of three juries.



This year-old program started because Greek life students wanted issues like underage drinking, DUI and date rape addressed to students in the court.

ASU biotech may get $185 million
ASU administrators have helped state lawmakers design a "buy now, pay later" plan to finance more than $400 million worth of research facilities for the state's three universities.



Bob Robson introduced a bill Wednesday that would allow ASU to use the sales tax from the construction materials of six buildings.



In the plan, $185 million of the $400 million would be allotted to ASU to continue construction of the Arizona Biodesign Institute and for other bioscience and medical technology labs.




ENTERTAINMENT
'Fabulous' play returns story of Adam and Steve to ASU
"The Most Fabulous Story Ever Told" follows the journey of two same-sex couples as they search for answers about God and life. Student production is bringing back the sexual comedy due to past success.

Soap opera melodrama
The first rule of Tiny Tinas is: You do not talk about Tiny Tinas. Until recently, the people who have approved of, organized, or been included in Tiny Tinas have lived under a shroud of fear and longed for obscurity.



Few participants have felt others should know that Tiny Tinas existed. They wanted to keep Tina locked in a closet. But all that's going to change, because Tinas' are comin' out!

Solo circle
It's a simple concept. You have the opening band, the mid band, and last - the headlining or closing band. This is the industry standard at most music venues. But, every few months Leslie Barton of Modified Arts, says she likes to throw a wrench in the wheels of the traditional music venue format.



For the first time since January, Modified Arts will present Round Robin Night from 8 p.m. to close Sunday. The event features five solo artists all on stage at once in a sort of acoustic sparing match. For the entire night the five artists will switch off songs in an attempt to abandon the conventional music format.

The Party of Helicopters' 'Please Believe it'
The Party of Helicopters is not something you would expect out of Ohio. It's not wholesome or all-American or classic rock. It's also not worth buying into. Their newest album, Please Believe It, has a pretty retro look to it, and originally gave me hope. After listening to the first three songs, I was at a loss for words. The boys spend these 10 songs trying to imitate girls [at least that's what it sounds like] only to end up recording the tone-deaf wailings of immature wannabes.

And You Will Know Us By the Trail of Dead's 'The Secret of Elena's Tomb'
With quotes on the And You Will Know Us By The Trail of Dead Web site like, "I want to do acid with the President of the United States," a wild musical encounter was expected from their latest album, The Secrets of Elena's Tomb. However, this Austin, Texas-based foursome delivers a musical experience much more tame then their chilling name and wise-ass image.

Gus Black's 'Uncivilized Love'
So what if it's not about heroin addiction or sleeping with someone random? Gus Black's Uncivilized Love, as a whole, gives me the impression of ugly, sleepless nights spent waiting for the sun to rise so it could prove that beauty still exists. OK, that's stupid, but there's a lot of soul in Gus's work, which is surprising considering its pop-blues texture.

Pre-show parable
It's 4 P.M. on Sunday and John Delacruz, a jovial man with a shaved head that he hides under a beanie, is peering into the tinted windows of Ra Sushi Bar on Tempe's Mill Avenue. Inside, he sees a room of empty tables and a lone bartender drying off a couple of glasses. A laminated piece of paper several inches below his cupped hands will momentarily inform him that the restaurant won't open until an hour later.



Delacruz is the drummer for the Phoenix not-quite-rock/not-quite-ordinary band Fatigo. On the Sunday afternoon in question, Fatigo will be performing at Ra as part of the "New Times Music Showcase" at 6 p.m.

Making music
When you walk into Brian Champ's apartment, it's obvious he's a musician. A drum set is hiding behind the couch, Authority Zero is blasting through every speaker in the house and Champ and his roommate, Johnny Lincoln, are sitting on the couch and air drumming as fast as they can. The phone rings. It's Champ's band mates calling to confirm what time they're leaving for their show tonight in Tucson.

¡Rock en Español!
There has been an underground rock scene in Mexico since the 1950s, but for the most part, if young hipsters wanted to get their hands on anything worth listening to, they had to look far beyond the border for English-speaking rock and roll bands. That all changed in the 1980s when the country's foundation literally shook. Around the time of the great Mexico City Earthquake in 1985, an outcropping of Spanish-speaking rock bands emerged from the destruction.



Among them was a band called Caifanes, which has since been renamed after Mayan cosmology's lord of the underworld, Jaguares. Their popularity in Mexico mirrors that of evergreen bands like The Eagles or Aerosmith in the United States, and gradually their popularity in the States has paralleled that of the Beatles in pre-'80s Mexico. This weekend, Jaguares will headline a show at Tempe's Marquee Theater.

Off the reel
Plastic hut. Gay Boyfriend. Proper Urinal Etiquette. They aren't the typical film titles you'd find at the local chain movie theater. But they are just a few of the short artistic films included in Arizona State University's 7th Annual Outdoor Film Festival.



John Spiak, an ASU Art Museum curator, established and organized the film festival with co-curator R.T. "Bob" Pece at ASU six years ago. Spiak was inspired to bring a short film festival with divergent content to the university after attending a similar film series in California that gained notoriety.

Pretty fly for a white guy: 'Malibu's Most Wanted' review
Last week, Jaime Kennedy announced to the world on "The Late Show" with Dave Letterman that he was fit to play dumb, white-boy roles. And now the boy has reached his peak. When an actor's most memorable line becomes, "King Kong ain't got nuthin' on me," you know he's reached the dumbest of the dumb.



Malibu's Most Wanted, starring Kennedy as Brandon Gluckman [aka B-Rad] throws Kennedy's extremely white ass [seriously, it's super white] into the ghetto to spoof racial and class divisions in California.

Springfield soapbox: The Simpsons, 'Bulletproof Monk'
Michael Green, SPM's regular film critic, was injured in a tragic blimp accident on the day of the screening of Bulletproof Monk, and he was unable to write a review of the movie in time for our deadline. Fortunately, we ran into some of the characters from "The Simpsons" coming out of the screening and they generously agreed to give us some of their thoughts on the film.

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