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OPINIONS
J.D. Hayworth the crackpot calling the kettle black
J.D. Hayworth is taking a stand against the worst kind of people: the kind who disagree with him. Columbia Prof. Nicholas De Genova angered Hayworth with statements about the war, causing Hayworth to write a letter to Columbia President Lee Bollinger asking that De Genova be fired.

Forego Sandler's 'Anger Management' for film festival
Adam Sandler's "Anger Management" is almost certainly good for a laugh, but don't go see it this weekend. The 3rd annual Phoenix Film Festival starts Friday. It's a great way to get a taste of true independent filmmaking without dropping megabucks on a road trip to Sundance.

The chalk on the walk no different from graffiti
It doesn't matter what the sidewalk chalk was saying (it was most likely about war, abortion or some oppressed group). What's important is that these messages are a pain in the ass. They are a form of graffiti that make the sidewalk look ridiculous.

Editorial: Education shouldn't go up in smoke with first drag
A 1998 amendment to the Higher Education Act prevents anyone convicted of a drug charge from receiving student need-based financial assistance. Preventing them from receiving an education is a bad move.

WEB EXTRA
Reality TV Roundup: 'Survivor' has old-school bug dinner
The latest immunity challenge harkened back to the original series: eating four courses of "survival" food, including grasshoppers and grubs. Matthew's immunity sent Deena and her sneaky attitude off the show.

IMAX's 'Ghosts of the Abyss' snazzes up same old Titanic
The new IMAX film Ghosts of the Abyss from blockbuster filmmaker James Cameron is about a real expedition down to the wreck of the Titanic. It's not a bad film, but its entertainment value has been seriously undermined by the fact that this only seems to be a vanity project for James Cameron.

Opinion: Reality TV's exposed skin, scare tactics idiotic
How low can Reality TV get? Two shows, among many others, indicate that television producers think their viewing audience has the collective intelligence of an inbred housefly that just had a couple of brewskies.

Scottsdale cuts may increase bus wait times in Tempe
Cuts in Scottsdale's transit budget may force service reductions that increase wait times at Tempe bus stops, according to Tempe transit officials. Some of Tempe's most popular routes could have doubled waits.

Postcards from Spain: Nightlife is world's best
Carnival is an annual week-long celebration with fiestas and parades. Spain has a reputation for having better nightlife than any other country and Carnival is just one piece of evidence that shows why.

Club Sports: W lacrosse eyeing Division I playoff berth
Two years ago, the ASU women's lacrosse team didn't have enough players to field a complete team. Now they are just one win away from a spot in the league championship tournament in their first season of Division I play.

CD Review: American Hi-Fi's 'Art of Losing'
To discuss American Hi-Fi's new release, entitled The Art of Losing, is to discuss every other pop-punk band in circulation today. Everything from their guitar riffs to lyrics has been pilfered directly from other bands.

SPORTS
Football: Defense keeps rolling, 4 TE's in line for spot
To many observers, the defense has had the edge over the offense throughout the first few weeks of spring football. Head coach Dirk Koetter said there is a very good reason for that: experience.

Devil Dish: War not time to protest for women golfers
All sports fans should thank the 11th Circuit Court of Appeals for rejecting Martha Burk's emergency request to allow protesters outside Augusta National Golf Club. With the war going on, the timing of the protest is all wrong.

Baseball: Sun Devils to resume conference play
For the second time in three weeks the No. 7 ASU baseball team is going California cruising, this time traveling north to Berkeley to face off with the California Golden Bears before hosting two more Pac-10 games.

W Tennis: Longhorns wrangle Sun Devils, get revenge
After a severe 7-0 pummeling at the hands of the University of Arizona, the University of Texas Longhorns had their revenge as they pulled out a 4-3 win against the ASU women's tennis team Wednesday.

Marines sweep into Baghdad amid cheers, sniper fire
Marines swept into Baghdad on Wednesday, seizing land, storming the homes of top Iraqi officials and discovering a capital city divided between those who embrace U.S. forces and those still fighting them.

Arabs stunned by fast fall of Saddam's regime
The news spread quickly by word of mouth Wednesday on the clogged side streets of Cairo where Ramzy Shaaban parked his cab: Baghdad had fallen out of Saddam Hussein's control after just a few days of battle.

Bush aides say U.N. won't be handed control of Iraq
A day after President Bush promised that the United Nations would play a "vital role" in postwar Iraq, his top aides said Wednesday that they have no intention of allowing the U.N. to take control of the country or decide who will run a new Iraqi government.

Marines stand their ground as ambush rages on
There were dead dogs lying on the side of the road. Second Lt. Adam Markley peered at them from his tank. It was an odd sight.



The sights kept getting stranger as Charlie Company's tanks led the flying column of the Marine Corps 2nd Tank Battalion into At Tuwayhah. Mounds of earth were piled neatly along the highway. On the roofs of roadside shops sat the shells of cars, trucks, a bus.

CAMPUS NEWS
Police Beat: Burglars steal women's undies from Cholla
The incidents reported by ASU and Tempe police, including a burglary at the Cholla Residence Hall. According to reports, a CD player and several pieces of women's underwear were stolen. The estimated loss is $220.

Supply chain ranks in top 5
Months after getting a $50 million endowment, the W. P. Carey School of Business has more reason to celebrate.



The Master of Business Administration supply chain management program ranked No. 5 in the nation and the undergraduate program is No. 3, according to U.S. News and World Report's guides to college and graduate schools.

Volunteers spend night under the stars for homeless
In the second annual Sleep-out for the Homeless, volunteers collected $4,990 in donations for the Thomas J. Pappas School for Children of Homeless Families, which serves over 800 Phoenix-area children.

Sexual assault is continuing problem on college campuses
April is Sexual Assault Awareness month, but experts caution students to always be aware. Scott Naegele said college students are the group most vulnerable to rape, and that their immaturity can make them a target.

China trip cut due to SARS
Fear of Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome, which has come to be known as SARS, will keep some students from studying abroad in China this summer.



The disease, originally thought to be a form of pneumonia, was first detected in November in a small fishing village in China's Guangdong province.


Honors student's city of sand disappears with the wind
While many ASU students sipped margaritas beachside over spring break, Chris Hassler was building a sandcastle city in the Barrett Honors College volleyball court. Hassler continuted until it was flattened this weekend.

ASU holds vigil for fallen soldier
Nearly 100 mourners gathered Wednesday night on Hayden Lawn to honor an Arizona native killed in Iraqi combat.



Lori Piestewa, 23, originally from Tuba City, was an Army private first class and was identified as belonging to a company of soldiers who were captured on March 23 near An Nasiriyah, Iraq.


ENTERTAINMENT
Viva la Vespa!
By its very nature, Phoenix is a city that thrives underground. It's big. It's young. It's hot. Unlike other metropolises like Los Angeles, New York and Chicago, where neon signs and giant billboards sway the easily hooked to the latest trend, Phoenix isn't a place where things jump out at you. It's a city where some of the most exciting things are located behind steel doors off dusty side streets.

Taking the stage
She's been a Sun Devil for less than a year, and already theater freshman Laura Wilkinson is preparing for her first main stage production: Good 'N Plenty - a comedy set in the bicentennial.



Fresh out of Hamilton High School in Chandler, this up-and-coming ASU actress is determined to prove herself on stage, playing Cindy, the villain in Good 'N Plenty, as well as the Bulgarian foreign exchange student, Margie, who always quotes songs from the 1970s.

Power to the people
Pierced, spike-wearing, camouflage-dressed teen-agers line the wall in front of the Cajun House in Scottsdale. As they wait underneath the venue's trademark saxophone-playing alligator, the excited young punksters swear, laugh, and flow in and out of the line where they wait to see the legendary punk band, The Subhumans.



As a Valley music venue and nightclub, the Cajun House is a prime location to view the local scene in action. With the "New Times Music Showcase" just a few days away, local bands prepare to rock Tempe with their native sounds. Despite the Showcase's positive media, some local musicians question New Times' commitment to the music scene and try to find a place for their music in it.

'Anger' Monotony: 'Anger Management' movie review
Dave Buznik is much like myself. He's a quiet guy, shy and not the least bit confrontational. He works as a secretary to some lazy man who holds an executive position and makes Buznik his bitch.



He deals with his girlfriend's well-endowed ex-boyfriend who hangs around all the time and within the first few opening scenes of Anger Management, Buznik, played by Adam Sandler, comes across as a total pushover. He can't even bring himself to kiss his girlfriend, Linda, in public.

'Showcase' showdown
Eight years ago when Phoenix New Times began shaping the idea for a musical event featuring local bands, they weren't sure how the Valley would respond. Last year, the annual "New Times Music Showcase" attracted twice the amount of people as it did its first year in 1995.



Moreover, according to Ryan Kibner of New Times, as the event continues to mature, New Times is attempting to meet the need of the public's growing interest. "The first year we had 7,000 people - last year the event attracted over 13,000 people," he says.

The joke's on them: Sundevil Comedy Festival
It's Thursday and you're quietly eating lunch in the Memorial Union when a group of men dressed as women run by, yelling inaudible commands while chasing each other with rubber chickens. You look at your watch. It's 12:15 p.m. - time for Barren Mind Improv.



Sneaking through a sea of more than 100 comedy-hungry students in the MU basement, you realize that you're about 30 minutes too late to have any hopes of finding a seat. It's standing room only, and you're lucky to find that. The lights go down, the blaring music stops and 11 of ASU's most beloved comedians step on stage. The mayhem that is improvisational comedy begins, and for an hour you forget your worries.

Sparks will fly: Artsy bikes at First Fridays and Mill Ave.
At first glance, the scene borders on absurdity: A man zips down Mill Avenue on a pink lowrider bicycle that boasts a pair of tassels, white tires and the moniker "Pink N' Pretty." He pedals fast, eager to attract attention. When part of the frame nicks the asphalt, sparks spit out and, sure enough, people stop to look.



The stares are exactly what 22-year-old Ryan Murray, Pink N' Pretty's owner, and the Tom Cruisers expect every time they bike the Valley's streets. Chrome rims and shiny frames like those featured in the Sprite commercial aren't what make these bicycles stand out - luxury isn't the goal...yet.

Clintonian politics
What the world needs now is Funk, Sweet Funk. At least, that's what George Clinton, the neon-dread-locked Godfather of Funk, would suggest.



The man behind the classic funk anthem, "Atomic Dog," the inspiration behind Snoop Dogg's "What's My Name?" doesn't hesitate to share his opinions about everything from the war in Iraq to the state of America's music industry during a phone interview with SPM.

Comics: Rockinfunzone
A comic strip by Nathan Ross.

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