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OPINIONS
The war of words doesn't stop with 'Freedom Fries'
I fully support waging a war on multiple fronts, but the advances that some "Americains" have made on the culinary lines against the French is beyond ridiculous - not to mention a battle lost before it ever began.

News flash for 'fools': The war in Iraq has been won!
In a surprising turn of events, Saddam Hussein was killed by his own Republican Guard. The remaining Iraqi military forces have thrown down their weapons in a mass surrender to U.S. and British troops.

A look at the real 'vast right-wing conspiracy' agenda
Liberals like to give conservatives labels. But in honor of April Fool's Day, the one day to pay homage to liberals, a column is devoted to the "Real Conservative Agenda."(TM) Let the vast right-wing conspiracy unfold!

Letters to the Editor: Buck is this year's free speech martyr
The letters in response to recent news and columns, including a reader writing to say that Brian Buck should not receive too much sympathy because he made the choice to participate in a pornographic film.

Boos and Bravos: Boo for not seeing T-Sizzle's smackdown
A look back at the good and the bad in recent news. A "Boo" goes to J.C. Cook, who allegedly hit Terrell Suggs in the head with rebar, and then received an alleged pummeling from Suggs. What were you thinking?

Political Cartoon: War in Iraq
Nathan Ross comments on Hussein's control in Iraq.

WEB EXTRA
Brief: Sony's 'Amplitude'
With more features, a better variety of music, and a new interface, Sony's new music game Amplitude is proving to be a worthy follow-up to 2001's Frequency.



Like Frequency, Amplitude has players build a song from the ground up by choosing different tracks like vocals, bass, guitars, sound effects, and more depending on the style of music.

'The Simpsons': Show gets back to basics, ups the ratings
Not only is "The Simpsons" having a ratings comeback, but it's apparently going back to basics. Tonight was another story-driven episode, with each storyline having a good amount of screen time.

CD Review: AFI's 'Sing the Sorrow'
A Fire Inside has hit the big time with their new album Sing the Sorrow, which was released by Columbia Records in early March.



Sing the Sorrow, the band's most recent album since its 2000 release of Art of Drowning, is meant for a patient audience because it requires a few listens to catch everything. But it is worth the wait.

Hawaiian singer returns to Arizona, leis long-time fans
A native Hawaiian performer hoped to please crowds by bringing some of the tropical spirit to the Sonoran desert. But, more importantly, he hoped to knock down some of the most common stereotypes about Hawaii's culture.



Keali'i Reichel's concert featured updated traditional Hawaiian lyrical chants sung to a mixture of traditional music and modern pop during his near-capacity show in Gammage Auditorium at 7 p.m. Saturday.

'ASU Web Devil' site registration to start April 1
Beginning April 1, 2003, the ASU Web Devil will require registration for viewing content beyond the home page. Registration is free and open to all.

SPORTS
Opinion: Hockey's Frozen Four looking for attention
College hockey has always been relegated to the back shelves of sports fans' interest, along with college baseball. But now the Frozen Four is in full swing, with each team's intriguing story should get a rooting interest.

Bradshaw honored as NCAA men's diving coach of the year
Mark Bradshaw was named the NCAA men's diving coach of the year after guiding a young diving squad, including stars Joona Puhakka and Trisha Tumlinson, to arguably the most successful season in ASU history.

Devil Dish: D-Backs still 27 outs closer to World Series
The D-Backs lost Monday and will not go undefeated this season. I thought they might, but it was not to be. Instead, the loss put the D-Backs 27 outs closer to another World Series championship.

Gymnastics: ASU to hit the road as top seed in Regionals
The ASU gymnastics team received the top seed Monday for the NCAA Regional Championships, but they will have to hit the road. No. 3 ASU will travel to Ann Arbor, Mich., for the Northeast Regional on April 12.

Pac-10 baseball put on pause
The No. 5 ASU baseball team used a valiant team effort Sunday to win the series finale against USC in Los Angeles. ASU will play a pair of non-conference games in the next two weeks before more Pac-10 play.

Wrestling: Roller-coaster stops at fifth place in nationals
The season not only closed the book on four great individual wrestling careers, it also opened a new one full of passionate young athletes and a young coaching staff that brought the national spotlight back to Tempe.

Peter Arnett, Geraldo Rivera casualties of war coverage
Two well-known television reporters covering the war in Iraq drew criticism for compromising objectivity and troop security on Monday, highlighting the potential pitfalls of documenting a conflict in real time.



Backing away from its initial support of him, NBC on Monday severed ties with Peter Arnett because the Baghdad-based veteran correspondent criticized U.S. strategy and praised Iraqi resolve on state-run Iraqi TV.

U.S. troops battle Republican Guard soldiers
American soldiers engaged Republican Guard forces Monday in some of the war's first pitched battles with Saddam Hussein's elite troops.



Civilians were bearing the costs of war as well: U.S. troops killed at least seven Iraqi women and children Monday at a checkpoint after the Iraqis' van did not stop as ordered.

Red Cross visits Iraqi POWs
The International Committee of the Red Cross on Monday began visiting some of the more than 3,000 prisoners of war captured by the U.S.-led coalition, but the agency's representatives were not being allowed to speak with seven Americans being held by Iraq.

CAMPUS NEWS
Police Beat: Three robbers steal cigarette cartons, booze
The incidents reported by ASU and Tempe police, including three Phoenix men, 35, 40 and 49, arrested Sunday on the charge of robbery. The men allegedly took cartons of cigarettes and bottles of liquor from the store.

Abortion rights group decries use of publicly-owned BOB
Diamondbacks owner Jerry Colangelo allowed anti-abortion group American Life League to host a press conference at Bank One Ballpark for free, in an effort to raise money for a campaign called Battin' 1000.

ASASU presidential runoff election today
Today and tomorrow the Associated Students of ASU will host a runoff election to determine the next student body president. None of the original candidates received a majority vote, so the race was narrowed.

More parking to hit Tempe
Metered parallel parking spaces will be added this week along Fifth Street, from College Avenue to Ash Avenue.



The 54 new parking meters and spaces will resemble those along Mill Avenue and will cost 75 cents an hour from 8 a.m. to 6 p.m., Monday through Saturday.




Comedy replaces 'boring' banquet
After 27 years at ASU, Professor Kristin Bervig Valentine, 65, will retire. Rather than accept the typical dinner and ceremony held for retiring professors, she has opted to hold a fundraising comedy show.



"Comedy for a Cause" will feature skits and performances from several of her associates from the Hugh Downs School of Communication, including Hugh Downs himself.




ENTERTAINMENT
Honing In: Festival shows art could be nuts, bolts or beefalo
Art can be anything: Shovels bent into lawn frogs or nuts and bolts fused into fencing figurines. It seemed anyone in the Valley with any "artistic" ability set up shop this weekend at the Tempe Festival for the Arts.

Comics: F-Minus
A comic strip by Tony Carrillo.

Comics: W.M.U.
A comic strip by Joseph Bowen.

Almost hardcore
The earth is angry. Something has violated her inner core and she is having a bitchfest. Birds fall out of the sky and cause traffic accidents, there are horrific lightning storms, and people with pacemakers are dropping dead all over the place.



So, NASA designs a phallic-shaped vessel to penetrate the earth's surface deeper and deeper into the red-hot magma. When the vessel's crew finally reach the center, they are sweaty and exhausted. But they are still able to fire four nuclear bombs into the liquid metal core. The Earth reacts with a shudder of seismic activity across her entire surface. Her anger dissipates and she is satisfied at last.

Murphy's Law:Sail Inn takes me away
Hello all - no, Joe has not become a blond woman over spring break. I am the woman behind the man in this publication, the assistant as it were. And I am invading Cup o' Joe this week. Why? Well, in case you haven't noticed, our cover story this week involves Tempe's beloved hippie hangout - Sail Inn. I love this place.

Making its Marq
When the owners of Tempe's Red River Music Hall decided to sell, the choice seemed like a smart one. The concert hall is located at the north end of Mill Avenue, a prime scene for local youth to spend an evening with the sounds that rock their young minds. But country and jazz, the genres most frequently heard at the venue, generally relate to a more mature audience.



That, however, is the past. Nobody In Particular Presents, a Denver-based promotions company, bought Red River and has renamed it the Marquee Theatre. NIPP also owns locations in three other states, which facilitates the process of trying to find venues willing and able to carry bands the company wants to promote.

'Toned down
Imagine being a local Tempe band, playing gigs around town when suddenly, after only 20 shows, you are discovered by an RCA executive and signed to a label subsidiary. You're thrown on tour, playing packed shows in New York City and getting airplay on radio stations nationwide.



But today, you're "rocking out" at Chicago Fest in downtown Scottsdale to a crowd that barely fills a fourth of the blue folding chairs set up in front of the dingy stage. What went wrong? For Gloritone, this scenario isn't some cruel nightmare. It's reality.

Setting Sail
In the beginning, The Hut rested on Third Street and Mill Avenue and was like many downtown Tempe scenes of its time. It was a cozy and humble locally-owned bar, where neighbors spent afternoons knocking back six-packs of Keystone with full confidence that the bartender knew their name and their drink.



However, in 1976, the city of Tempe initialed its first redevelopment scheme and consequently bought out much of a contingency of local bars' land along Mill Avenue, causing The Hut to relocate to a spot out of the path of progress.

Rock the vote
Any time comedian Chris Rock steps on stage, it's no surprise when he begins spewing politically incorrect statements, racial slurs and obscenities. In fact, it's expected.



In his new movie, Head of State, Rock delivers yet another no-holds-barred performance, playing a Washington, D.C., neighborhood alderman who's on the verge of losing his job.

Local motion
Working for an AM radio station is like writing for a magazine that's published upside-down and backward in a newspaper: If you want to shed your obscurity, you're going to have to be pretty creative.



ASU's on-campus radio station The Blaze, KASC-AM 1260, has a history of creative endeavors such as on-campus band performances and on-air giveaways, and recently has been broadening its horizons even more by launching a weekly live local music show at the Lucky Dragon restaurant and nightclub in Tempe.

Jazz 101
While Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake tussle over the top of the pops, the battle to bolster support for the profound and culturally essential rages on, almost unobserved.



However, music enthusiasts who seek to find a little history, creativity and exultation can experience the rhapsodic sounds of jazz music through Jazz Week 2003 at the Katzin Concert Hall in the ASU Music Building from Sunday through April 3.

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