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OPINIONS
'Bullets over Baghdad' could be the latest reality TV flop
There is nothing up for grabs in the prospective war: it has been scripted by our fearless producer, President Bush. The only "real" aspects of this feature presentation are the potential human and economic casualties.

House of Representatives can't let sleeping cloning laws lie
Just when you thought the issue of human cloning had been relegated from the headlines, it resurfaces once more: The Human Cloning Prohibition Act of 2003 passed by a disturbingly high margin.

Keep rattling that saber, President Bush, it's working!
Bush has been engaged in what a lot of critics are calling "saber-rattling," a nice way of saying "swinging the big brass balls of the United States Armed Forces in Hussein's ugly tyrannical mug." And it is a start.

Letters to the Editor: Another Starbucks won't help students
The letters in response to recent news and columns, including a note from a reader concerned that the conversion of the Union Square cafeteria into a small food court will shrink her healthy campus dining options.

Editorial: PETA uses tragedy as marketing gimmick
Human beings were ushered into camps to be tortured, humiliated and killed. The Holocaust was a tragedy based on hatred. Now, People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) are using it as a marketing gimmick.

SPECIAL REPORTS
Spring Break Special: Great places to go in Arizona
The State Press editorial board searched far and wide in the great state of Arizona for interesting locations to visit for spring break, whether you are low on cash or have slacked off with your vacation plans.

Spring Break Fantasies: The tree that took a girl's virginity
My ultimate fantasy for a spring break probably wouldn't be exactly what you would expect from a wild party animal like myself. If I had $500 and a vehicle, I would go over to Tip Top nursery and buy myself a tree.

Risky behavior not policed in ASU football recruiting
College recruiting groups such as ASU's Sun Devil Recruiters are being condemned by critics and college football administrators who say the groups are sexist, potentially dangerous and almost certain to bring embarrassment to the universities that sponsor them.

WEB EXTRA
Reality TV Roundup: 'Survivor' loses oomph with drugs, Probst
This week begins the premiere of the new FOX reality show "Married By America," where five single men and women are letting America voters pick a fiancé for them.

'Simpsons' kills with focus on Flanders and Tomei
Sunday's episode of The Simpsons, "A Star is Born-Again," succeeds as every episode does in entertaining its audience. It definitely brings on the laughs when guest star Marisa Tomei becomes romantically involved with Ned Flanders.

SPORTS
Devil Dish: Kournikova nothing but a pretty face for Fedorov
Maybe Sergei Fedorov sees something we don't. The Russian superstar of the Detroit Red Wings acknowledged that he and tennis star (read: eye candy) Anna Kournikova were once married but are now divorced.

Opinion: Jake Plummer's exit best for everyone involved
Plummer's seemingly inevitable departure should work out for the best for all. Plummer didn't get it done in Arizona and the Cardinals didn't get it done with a quarterback better than whomever they end up signing.

W Hoops: Buckner presses consistent force on opposition
In her first year as a starter in the 2002-03 campaign, sophomore forward Carrie Buckner has been called upon to handle the opposing team's top offensive player, regardless of how tall or quick that player is.

Swimming: ASU takes 6th at Pac-10 tourney
In some sports, winning the Pac-10 crown is the goal from the start. But for the ASU swimming and diving teams, the meet is a chance to qualify for the NCAA tournament and achieve national championship dreams.

Sports Briefs: Gymnasts climb to highest rank since 1980s
Updates on ASU's Olympic sports, including the Gymnastics squad's achievment of a No. 2 ranking after Friday's UNO's classic. It is the highest ranking ASU has had in the regular season since the mid-1980s.

Wrestlers win Pac-10 crown, take individual titles
ASU's wrestling team won its 14th Pac-10 title and six Sun Devils walked away with individual Pac-10 titles. Senior Eric Larkin took home a Pac-10 championship and the Pac-10 wrestler of the year and Gorrarian awards.

CAMPUS NEWS
Police Beat: Man steals three pairs of garden shears
The incidents reported by ASU and Tempe police, including a 37-year-old man who allegedly stole three pairs of gardening shears from a nursery. The man allegedly punched an officer and ripped buttons off his shirt.

Police to curb beads, breasts
Tempe police are asking businesses not to hand out beads at today's Mardi Gras festivities in order to better control crowds.



Mardi Gras activities often include people exposing themselves in exchange for beads.

Outage delays ASASU voting
On what was supposed to be the first day of student government elections, zero students voted.



A disk failure rendered the campus-wide server useless, preventing students from accessing the election link on the ASU Interactive website.

PETA display draws criticism from Crow
ASU President Michael Crow called PETA's "Holocaust on Your Plate" exhibit "distasteful and objectionable." It included large canvases that depicted chickens packed together next to starved Holocaust victims.

Activity board gets new execs
Two students were elected to lead the first-ever Programming and Activities branch of student government, created to plan free educational and entertainment events for students.



The department is a metamorphosis from the position of activities vice president, formerly held by Shanna Bowman.

Vote Today!
Today and tomorrow, the ASU Main student body will elect a president and vice president to represent it in ASU's student government, the Associated Students of ASU.

ENTERTAINMENT
Tempe's bars prepare for Mardi Gras party crowds
It may not be Bourbon Street, but Mardi Gras partygoers won't have to go far to make the most of Fat Tuesday today. Included here is a list of events to check out without having to go all the way to the Big Easy.

SPM: DJ Smash's 'Phonography 2'
Seedy ReviewsHot on the heels of Norah Jones' eight Grammy Awards, Blue Note Records blesses the world with another body of work from one of its groundbreaking artists, DJ Smash's Phonography 2. Smash has worked with Blue Note since the early 1990s.

Lisa Germano's 'Lullaby for a Liquid Pig'
Seedy ReviewsLisa Germano delivers a lullaby fit for people and perhaps even liquid pigs. Her ninth album, Lullaby for a Liquid Pig, which is scheduled to be released in April, blesses the listener with 36 minutes of deep, emotional exploration.

The Art of Science
What do 125 volts surging through a fresh pickle have in common with the 1980s/early-'90s alternative rock group, The Pixies? For David Lovering, the pickle and the band have more in common than one would think.

Peace and quiet
Bobcat Goldthwait was once a rebellious, obnoxious young comedian on top of the world, willing to do anything for attention. Today, at 40, he's past the point in his life when it was cool to rappel nude down the side of a coliseum and dress up as Madonna for awards shows.

SPM: Jumpin' Jax
Mill Avenue dwellers eagerly peek through the dark-tinted windows, trying to get a glimpse of what's going on inside. It's 11 o'clock and a petite blonde swings upside down on a trapeze bar, dressed in a black, skin-tight, two-piece outfit.

SPM: Six feet under
Director Andrzej Bartkowiak and his usual cast return to the big screen in Cradle 2 the Grave, the third film from the cinematographer turned filmmaker. His previous films were Romeo Must Die with Jet Li and DMX, and Exit Wounds with DMX and Steven Segal.

Mass appeal
Local hard rock band Opiate for the Masses and the Betty Ford clinic have two things in common: They both cater to "all walks of life" and continuously deal with people heavily addicted to drugs and alcohol.

Re'constructing' an art scene
Jennifer Kiraly acknowledges that over the past couple of decades she has seen the Phoenix art scene evolve from the mecca of cliché Southwest artwork to the vibrant contemporary art scene of today.

Outspoken's 'Bitter Shovel'
Seedy ReviewsAh, the good ol' salad days of grunge rock. How I missed them. Now you, too, can play that smooth Seattle sound in your very own band and all it'll cost you is the low, low price of your SOUL.

50 Cent's 'Live Rich or Die Tryin''
Seedy ReviewsWhat were Dr. Dre and Eminem thinking when they helped produced 50 Cent's Live Rich or Die Tryin'? The album, which is sitting atop the Billboard charts for a third straight week, doesn't deserve half the credit it's getting.

SPM: Ani DiFranco's 'Evolve'
Seedy ReviewsIn the live, double-CD that chronicles two years on tour and the musings of several-thousand of her concert-going fans, Ani Difranco shows that she's just as engaging in her studio work as she is onstage.

Singing soprano
So, it's Friday night. The directors and singers of the opera "Xerxes" are hoping that a fresh, funny, and updated version of the 18th-century opera "Xerxes" will have you re-thinking what you think you know.

Afterschool Special
@ASUYoung musicians sit in a somewhat-straight line in a place where Phoenix's ancestors were baptized, married, and received communion. This congregation is more interested in the gospel according to Mozart.

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