Serving Arizona State University Online Since 1995  Current Issue: Thursday, November 29, 2001



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OPINIONS
Editorial: Independence of your beloved 'rag' may be in jeopardy
On any given day, there are spelling errors, poorly worded sentences, design flaws as there are in any paper. And while we share the flaws of most daily papers, we also have another thing in common: independence.

Opinion: Battle over Bonds ball brings nation back to the beginning
Strands of forgotten tickertape and tire-flattened beer cups still litter the World Series stomping grounds around Bank One Ballpark. But the world of baseball is finally getting back to normal.



Opinion: U.S. needs to fix Afghanistan after destroying it
The United States of America. The crown jewel of the free world. Arbiter of freedom and democracy. Owner of the baddest rootin' tootin' armed forces this here side of the Atlantic.



Semester a roller coaster of events, emotions
It's more a chore than a joy to decorate the tree and hang stockings. Christmas lights are overrated, and if you've seen one nativity scene, you've seen them all. The long lines for Santa at the malls get annoying and holiday music gets old fast.

SPORTS
Cloudy forecast for Wash. teams
After being picked to finish at the basement of the Pac-10 in the preseason media poll, the Washington schools have realized that the talent level in the Evergreen State might not be so lush.



Breaking down the Washington Huskies
The Huskies have been tabbed as the worst team in the conference after losing all five seniors from last year's team. But Washington may not be as bad as some people think with a highly touted recruiting class comprised of a handful of future stars.

Walter named starter again for UCLA game
Walter started against UA last week, completing 10-of-22 passes for 132 yards, one touchdown and no interceptions. Jeff Krohn also played against UA, completing 5-of-13 passes with no touchdowns and one interception.



Men's hockey on a roll as No. 11 St. Louis comes to town
Riding high on a nine-game winning streak, the No. 16 Sun Devils have shaken off a rocky start to their 2001-2002 season, while developing an evenly distributed scoring attack in the process.

CAMPUS NEWS
ICA deficit: $3.3 million
The ASU Intercollegiate Athletics department will be ending the 2002 fiscal year with a $3.3 million budget deficit, lower deficit than initial projection of $3.4 million.

Student Media seeks director, rides unsteady financial wave
For two months, the State Press, Web Devil, Hayden's Ferry Review and Channel 2 have been operating without a director and probably won't have one until April.

ABOR to vote on graduate fee process
The Arizona Board of Regents is expected to vote today on a process that would allow all three Arizona universities the ability to set a variable fee range for selected graduate professional programs.



Wall of newspaper clippings draws attention to social justice of Sept. 11
Newspaper clippings showing consequences of the Sept. 11 attacks covered the front office window of the social work building in West Hall Wednesday, a campus group's way of demonstrating for social justice.



Today
The Today Section is a daily calendar of events printed as a service to the ASU community. Requests are accepted on a first-come, first-served basis and are printed as space permits. We do not take requests over the phone, via e-mail or fax. Forms may be picked up in the basement of the Matthews Center, where they should be filled out completely and legibly.

Police Beat
A 33-year-old Mesa man was arrested Tuesday for intentionally colliding with the rear of the victim's vehicle near the corner of Country Club Way and Baseline Road. The suspect was upset after being cut off. He was charged with aggravated assault and booked at the Tempe City Jail.

Virtual university to streamline registration, financial aid services
Matt Ortega, ABOR spokesman, said under current circumstances students taking online courses have to go through student service processes like registering for classes or getting financial aid at each university offering a course.

West faculty researches drug use at jail facilites
ASU West faculty members and students do research in local jails for a national program that chronicles trends in drug-use epidemics among criminal arrestees in an attempt to help illuminate the illegal market.



Classifieds - 11/29/01
Apartments 3BR/ 2BA, hard wood floors free cable. Avail asap. $1350/mo + dep. Call Tyler 310-403-2234 A 2BR apt, close to ASU & dwntwn. Great move-in special. Only $575/mo. 480-804-0537. ASU 4 blks, large 1br w/ sep offc, a/c, m/w, patio, lndry, cport. $555.

Student debt rising; state financial aid slipping
Byron Bjore said it would take a "miracle" to erase the $15,000 to $20,000 in debt he estimates he will have when he graduates from ASU in four years.

ENTERTAINMENT
'Chicken Soup' book for PTS gets the axe
Chicken Soup for the Soul series creators Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen were forced to cancel production on their latest work, Chicken Soup for the ASU Parking and Transit Service Worker's Soul, on Wednesday, when scientists discovered that PTS workers do not, in fact, possess souls.

Giuliano a 'model' mayor
Amid rumors of yet another effort to recall Tempe Mayor Neil Giuliano, the mayor said at a press conference Monday that he would not only stay in office, but also become the "g-darned fanciest looking hottie mayor in the United States."



Construction finally done!
ASU students, faculty and staff were shocked when they arrived at campus Wednesday, finding freshly paved streets and cleared walkways where, just a day earlier, countless construction signs and scads of obnoxious orange cones had so ominously loomed.

U.S. offers Taliban a truce
At a press conference Wednesday, a giddy group of U.S. foreign policy leaders announced they wanted to call a truce with the Taliban government.

Sun City couple shocked by existence of 'French African Americans'
A Sun City couple and their small band of followers were attacked at a Wal-Mart center by angry mobs Thursday for handing out "offensive" pamphlets.



Starbucks, Coffee Plantation battle for campus real estate
The company has bought a portion of the Computing Commons, two floors of the Language and Literature Building, a section of Hayden library and several more plots of land in and around the campus.

God's gift to women turned down
To celebrate the 50,000th birthday of women inhabiting the planet Earth, God sent down what he considered one of his most impressive specimens to date.



Philosophy professor loses term paper, claims non-existence
This time, a 100-level philosophy term paper, equaling one half of a borderline-A student's grade, was not graded because, as far as the professor is concerned, the paper never existed.

ASU supports boobies with month-long event
The first annual Breast Implant Awareness Month was tipped off atop the Nipple of Knowledge early Wednesday morning. Nearly 500 advocates gathered at the pointed landmark to show their firm support for the matter.

ASU sophomore studies a broad
Peepinski, a sophomore double majoring in psychology and anthropology, began his study of freshman exercise science major Mindera Johnson a few days ago, and said that so far he's been very impressed.

Editorial: Sigfried and Roy are definitely not 'the homo-gay'
That's right. Sigfried and Roy aren't gay. Not that there's anything wrong with that. As adoring fans, we wouldn't care if they were, but there's just no way.

Opinion: ASU eccentrics plan rally against hate, earthworms
Following the events of Sept. 11, tensions have run high at our usually tranquil and serene campus. In recent months, certain groups of students have been ostracized for their religious beliefs and ethnic heritage.

Man and his manhood don't see eye to eye
It's Friday night, and all the ladies here in Tempe best be on high alert, because the Rickster is on the prowl. Ain't nobody dope as me, I'm just so fresh and so clean. So fresh, and so clean!

Letters to the Editor
I am alarmed by the amount of plaid-shirt wearers at ASU. I am Swedish, and in Sweden, only old men wear cotton plaid button-down shirts.

Tempe Center to reopen as brothel
The Tempe City Council voted 6-1 last night to convert the decrepit Tempe Center into a fully functioning and realized house of ill repute.

The ghost town of a strip mall will be renamed Sparky's Inferno and will cater to the tenured professors of ASU.



Real World chooses ASU's Sparky as first mascot housemate
The flourish of reality television shows and the lengths other networks go to be cutting edge are no match for the seasoned reality creators at MTV. Just when MTV thought their audience had seen it all with a nose-picking, peanut butter scooping roommate Puck, they are managing to put a new spin on it all.

Evans declares hoops recruits 'mildly skilled'
ASU's men's basketball coach Rob Evans declared that his 2001 recruiting class is made up entirely of players who are 'mildly skilled' and 'well-rounded individuals, but not in a fat kind of way.'

Ultimate 'crazy' sports fan sent to mental institution
Many of Gomez's coworkers expressed their feelings publicly about Brian's support for his favorite sports teams, saying that, at times, he went a little too far.

Professional athlete turns down sex and drugs
Joe Traylor, a reserve guard for the New York Knicks, turned down a night of doing drugs and having sex Friday, choosing instead to simply go home and be with his family.

Horoscopes
Aquarius (January 20 to February 18) Avoid rental cars and that creepy guy in your biology lab he is scheming to ruin your day with a pesky plan that will either leave you dead or married at a Las Vegas drive-through wedding chapel. See Sagittarius horoscope for more insight.

Police Beat
Three male students were arrested on the third floor of the Hayden Library for indecent exposure after they were discovered in various states of undress as they busily pleasured each other.

Your World in Briefs
Religious Greek purges excess sin, pounds When freshman Mandy Nedermeyer first walked onto ASU's campus, she lived a life like most new college students days filled with ludicrous amounts of alcohol and sex.

'State Press' really won't hire 'Anyone'
Anyone's confidence turned to outrage days later when he was rejected for every job, including biased reporter, mediocre opinion columnist and janitor.



ARCHIVES
Link to 5 years of ASU Web Devil/State Press archives
This semester's archives may be searched through the button to the left. Click here to go to archives prior to August 2001.

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