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OPINIONS
Quality guaranteed! Now buy this service agreement!
Recently, I was in an electronics store, trying to buy a telephone that was just a telephone. I did not want the conference-call feature, the intercom feature, the programmable memory feature, the coffee-making feature, or the feature (this is a new one) that displays the exact current latitude and longitude of Rep. Gary Condit. All I wanted was the feature that lets you talk to the person on the other end.

Solution to sinking refugee ship: Just shove
A Norwegian ship, the Tampa, rescued 434 people from a sinking Indonesian ship Saturday. The skipper admits that the "three-hour tour" estimate was a bit optimistic on his part, but it's been almost a week and the passengers are still stuck on board.

Security guards ‘Team’ up on Tempe club-goers
We will never be able to completely eradicate this problem, so if you are a security guard, bouncer or police officer, please remember that everyone you are dealing with is human and no one is less worthy, less important, or less valuable than you are. The least you can do is treat them with the respect every living being deserves.

Column: The right reparations: America’s underclass deserves a fair chance
Although it’s not yet a real piece of legislation, it serves as an alternative idea if the reparations issue is not resolved. It would be called the Fairness in Educational Resource Reparations Act.



Peace Department would make world a better place
Humanity has made some great strides in the technology and efficiency of war, but it's time to make strides in world peace, too.

SPORTS
ASU struggles through opener
The Sun Devil women's volleyball team began the season going 1-3 at the 12th annual Phoenix Airport Hilton/Sun Devil Challenge on Friday and Saturday, struggling against a strong field that included a pair of preseason top 25 squads.

ASU looking to become automatic in red zone
The Sun Devils worked intensely on red zone formations in practice this fall, hoping to be more efficient inside the 20-yard line in 2001 than they were last season.

Volleyball hosting Sun Devil Challenge to open season
A new era in ASU women's volleyball begins today as the Sun Devils open the 2001 season as hosts of the 12th Annual Phoenix Airport Hilton/Sun Devil Challenge at Wells Fargo Arena.

Nosler staying tough after loss at Amateur
Brian Nosler will hit the links once again this weekend after watching his bid for the 2002 Masters flash right before his eyes just a few days ago.

Soccer squad chasing balance as new season kicks off
As it travels to Texas for the Baylor Labor Day Classic this weekend, the question for the ASU women’s soccer team is which team will make the trip. Will it be a team still firmly entrenched in former coach Terri Patraw’s system or will it be new coach Ray Leone’s teamwork-enhanced version?

Sun Devil baseball players trying hand as boys of summer
While most college students were busy working various jobs for the past few months, many ASU baseball players spent the dog days of summer playing the game they love.

CAMPUS NEWS
Police give tips, warn residents about convict
Tempe police helped calm the fears of the city’s residents and employees Thursday by providing information about a convicted sex offender seen in the area.

Go fish: Rainbow trout to fill town lake
The Arizona Department of Game and Fish will stock Tempe Town Lake with about 2,100 rainbow trout this fall. Tempe spokeswoman Mary Fowler said the decision was part of the city's future plans to provide recreational fishing.

Mayor accused of voting illegally
A Tempe resident has accused Mayor Neil Giuliano of illegally voting in dozens of city cases involving ASU, citing a conflict of interest because the mayor is a University employee.

ASU alumnus to help advise Bush
State dignitaries congratulated ASU alumnus Gary K. Ong on Thursday for his appointment to the Commission on Asian American and Pacific Islanders.

ASU professor, student earn leadership awards
Josué Gonzalez, a professor of bicultural education, and Johnny Garcia, a business senior, will receive the awards on Sept. 5 at a luncheon in the Arizona Biltmore hotel. The awards are given by Valle del Sol, a non-profit organization.

ASU student crowned Fiesta Bowl Queen
In the kickoff event for 2002 Fiesta Bowl festivities Saturday night, ASU junior Shannon Brown was crowned Fiesta Bowl Queen, marking the beginning of her term as an ambassador for one of college football's most popular events.

Tempe candidates to debate Thursday
Tempe mayoral candidates Neil Giuliano and Gene Ganssle have agreed to participate in a ASU Student Media sponsored debate Thursday night.

ASU student jewel in the crown of Fiesta Bowl
ASU broadcasting junior Shannon Brown was crowned the 2001 Fiesta Bowl Queen Friday night at a lavish gala fit for, well, her.

Cinema Park aims to heal
Cinema Park, a new health food store at Ash Avenue and University Drive, is hoping to continue their tradition of helping people in the community live healthier lives.

‘Neighbors for Neil’ criticize opponent’s campaign tactics
In a continuing effort to gain support for Tempe Mayor Neil Giuliano in the recall election, “Neighbors for Neil,” the political committee supporting the mayor, sent out hundreds of postcards to residents, condemning his opponents’ campaign tactics.

MAYOR supporters campaign with postcards
In a continuing effort to gain support for Tempe Mayor Neil Giuliano in the recall election, “Neighbors for Neil,” the political committee supporting the mayor, sent out hundreds of postcards to residents, condemning his opponents’ campaign tactics.



Bookstore profits not what they seem
Buying textbooks can be a painful process that empties wallets, but local bookstore owners are not making as high of profits as others across the nation.

ENTERTAINMENT
CD reviews: 14 Iced Bears, In the Beginning
You no longer have to scour Ebay for those early, long-out-of-print 14 Iced Bears 7's. Slumberland has compiled them on CD, along with eight previously unreleased BBC session tracks, some live cuts and demos.

CD reviews: Jamiroquai, A Funk Odessey
Jamiroquai is set to release its fifth album Sept.11, and it’s everything you’d expect it to be. The band isn’t going to win any new fans with this release, but anyone who can name one of it’s songs or dug the “Virtual Insanity” video — think moving floor — will find themselves tapping a toe.

Lifestyles: Beat dorm doldrums with room makeover
Dorm life: It can be the foundation of your best college memories or a nightmare that continues for five years. There are some fun items to decorate with that will make your dorm room a great place to come home to.

Othello remake weaves tangled web of plot
Based on the Shakespearean play Othello, O moves the classic tale from the battlefield to the basketball court, using a modern setting and language.

Film Review: Funny ‘Bubble Boy’ still blows
The fast-paced flick, rated PG-13 for crude, sexual humor, follows Jimmy Livingston (Jake Gyllenhaal) as he races across the country to stop his true love from wedding her evil fiance.

Theater arts: Pop opera comes to Gammage
ASU’s Gammage Auditorium is hosting Disney’s off-Broadway production of Aida. Once an opera, Aida has been transformed by composers Elton John and Tim Rice into a pop musical complete with two princesses and the solider for whom they both yearn.

Thrift Score
For those not yet initiated into the world of thrift stores and vintage shops, SPM has done the legwork for you.

Theater arts: ‘L.A. Numb’ energizes director, cast
For this job above all others, Jennifer Linde, director of L.A. Numb, has forced herself to break free from the quietude and distance people place between themselves and life, said Dustin Goltz, L.A. Numb author and ASU graduate.

Music notes: Rhythm Room’s 10th Anniversary Show to host old favorites, new surprises
The Rhythm Room is going to remain at its Indian School Road location despite rumors of relocation, and this Sunday it will be celebrating its 10th anniversary with an all day blues extravaganza featuring many well-known local and national talents.

Score a strike with stylish bowling shoes
Teens and young adult men are the most common offenders of bowling shoe theft, Wilson said.

Opinion cafe: SPM gives funk lessons free of charge, embarrassment
There are good ways and bad ways to get in touch with your funkiness. Good way: reading SPM. Bad way: taking funk aerobics at the Student Recreation Complex.

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